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Showing most liked content since 11/04/2011 in all areas

  1. 20 points
    jeebowhite

    Polite Reminder - Please Read

    Please remember folks, that the "New Member Introductions" area is just to say "Hi, My name is... I drive a .... and I am interested in...." Please do not post "should I change...." or "What do you think...." or any other conversations in this area, only post hello's and if you are looking for help then you need to post elsewhere (please read on). 1) If your driving one of the main Ford Groups (Fiesta, Focus, CMAX, SMAX, Galaxy, Sierra etc) then please post your questions, advice, guidance, how do I's in this appropriate category if it refers to your car. for example "My Fiesta wont start" - Fiesta forum. "My CMAX blew up" - CMAX section. "My Mondeo is driving me crazy" - Mondeo Section. If your posting about a particular make of car, put it in that section. 2) Only post in the "Guides" sections if you are posting a guide (like you see in Haynes!) on how to do something. "A guide on how to remove the pollen filter from a Focus" - Focus Forum - Focus Guides sub forum. "A guide on how to replace a battery on a Fiesta" - Fiesta Section - Fiesta Guides Sub Forum 3) If you have questions, or suggestions of a cleaning / detailing nature - "How should I wash my car?" or "what polish can I use to make my car sparkle" belong in the detailing and cleaning section. All of these will help you to best get a response. Please do not post anything and everything into either the introductions, or the "general chat" sections. On this forum, we have a lot of members, who between them have an excellent level of knowledge in specific car area's, and they tend to congregate more so in their own area's. If you want a quick answer, Post directly in that section and someone can hopefully come back to you soon. Please DO NOT post multiple copies of the same thread and/or post, as these are likely to be removed. Please review the main forum page, and familiarize yourself with the categories and forum's that we have. We are here to help, and as a forum, pride ourselves as being the best on the net (top of most ford related searches!) as such, to ensure that you get the best from us as a new member, please help yourselves, and help us to get back to you sooner rather than later.
  2. 19 points
    Philf1

    Philf1's Nitrous Blue Focus RS

    Well it has taken what seems to be an age but the RS has finally arrived. And god it's awesome. Here's the back story of order to delivery which I decided to keep pretty much to myself as I knew the wait would be hard enough without sharing the pain with you guys. February 2016 - Never thinking I could ever afford an RS and that the Fiesta ST MP215 would be the pinnacle of my Ford ownership I saw an advert on a Ford dealer website offering repayments of almost exactly what I was paying for the ST. But wait what about the insurance I here you ask? OK that's what I was asking anyway. So I did a quote and found that the premium was actually a few pounds less than for the ST. Oh god that makes it feasible. So off I trotted to my local Stoneacre dealer to see my friendly salesman Steve. We sat down and placed the order. RS mk3 in Nitrous blue, standard seats with blue bolsters, lux pack, 19" forged alloy wheels, sync2 nav system and door edge protectors. Fantastic everything I want and expected build date to be October 2016. £1000 deposit paid. Only problem is that RS orders can only be placed at Ford Stores and my local isn't one. So the order is placed via the Doncaster branch, he can't see anything on his system so will have to ring Doncaster for everything. Two days later Steve rang me. "Good news and bad news" he says. "Good news is we have a cancellation with a build date of May 2016, bad news no door edge protectors" let me think...I'll have it!!!! March 2016 - Then the horror stories start to come out of the forums and Ford themselves. Oil leaks on the production line no cars being released and many a potential owner getting ***** off. Then I get the dreaded call. "Your build date is being put back to June but you can have the door edge protectors" Well that's OK one month extra but everything I wanted, I can live with that. April 2016 - bad news continues. Build date back to July. June 2016 - Build date back to October. News on the RS forum that the winter pack, (heated seats and steering wheel) not previously available in UK but was in Spain, I don't understand either, is now available in UK. Get me that I tell Steve but only if it doesn't delay the order any further. He gets it on the build schedule, happy days. I also find out that one of the reasons for the delay is that Ford have run out of Nitrous Blue paint. Seriously? Sack the guy responsible for that. August 2016 - Ford Fair is quite painful as all I can see are RS's at ever turn. October 2016 - Sent an email to the RS team at Ford UK. Can you confirm my build date please? Reply states it might be December but two week shut down over Christmas means it might be the New Year. Enough is enough now. I'm very unhappy and seriously considering cancelling my order. So I march off to the dealers. Steve checks and is told that they have a build date of 10th November. Another email to Ford UK later that day to be told, "actually yes build date is 10 November and here's your VIN number. Whooop. Straight onto ETIS and there it is and they started building on the 8th two days early. November 2016 - Over the next few weeks I watch the car being built including an upgrade to Sync 3. Then I remember we've never actually sat down and worked out the finance in detail. Better get that done then. Off to see Steve, he's nowhere to be seen. Off sick I'm told he's had an operation and not due back till the New Year. *****. Anyway Paul says don't worry we'll sort it. What did Steve arrange for you. So I told him. "Seriously? That's a cracking deal." says Paul. I'll see what I can do. December 2016 - 5th - Paul rings. Car has landed at the dealers. If we can sort the finance you can pick it up on the 10th. God I'm nearly wetting myself now. Problem is they can't find any of Steve's paperwork, great. We discuss the finance and of course the screw tightens, your ST is now 9 months older and has 10k more miles on it so its only worth......f*** all. Jeez what now? A bit of hard talking and I get another £2k out of him. That's better. But I still need to find a bit more cash and the payments are £50 more per month than the ST. Just before Xmas, not good timing. So I juggle some finances around cancel the wife's Xmas presents, joking, and no problem I'll come in tomorrow to sign the papers. 6th- Where's Paul? His day off! Ahmed will sort it, he's the sales manager. We sit down and he gets the finance details up on screen. Your payments ill be £330 a month! No they f***ing won't be, says I. He's only quoted me on the current increased list prices not the cost when I ordered back in February. So panic over. Finance signed, Collection agreed for 11am 10th December. Saturday 10th December- The BIG day - Drove the ST, on fumes, to Doncaster, it needs 4 new tyres, current ones are like slicks, and the 3rd year service which I never got done and saved myself over £500 in total, so if you buy it make sure these have been sorted. I'll miss that car it has brought me 3 years of driving pleasure and many great memories. I arrive at the dealers to see the car in the showroom covered with a Ford car cover but the profile is unmistakable. I sign what seems to be every page of the bible hand over the ST keys and V5. OK sir if you'd like to take the cover off your new car? ***** hell not half I'd like to; Right that's all the buttons explained, phone paired let's get this show on the road. Hope I like it? Like it, it's chuffing amazing. What a car, like brown stuff off a shovel, more comfortable than the ST and sport mode transforms it into something else. I'm never going to tire of this. Here's a couple of photo's on the way home. And it's first wash That's all for now guys. I'll try update this thread over the coming weeks and months but it's hard when you never get out of the driving seat.
  3. 18 points
    A little gift , here are the PDF electrical wiring diagrams for the Ford Focus Focus Mk2/2.5 + ST PDF dated 2010 - Click Here Focus Mk3 PDF dated 2011 , not ST - Click Here Very usefull indeed if your trying to figure out additions to your car or find wiring Regards Preee Focus 2011 Wiring.pdf entire_schematics_ph8m5t-70000-ad.pdf
  4. 17 points
    richard150

    Car Abuse At Work!

    its is sort of related , some years old was in a car park walking back to my car a woman had put a shopping bag on my bonnet ,I give her a mouth full her reply was there nothing wrong with me butting it on your bonnet I was steaming , so I got my tool box out of the boot and but it on her bonnet saying nothing wrong with it but it did dent it , her face was a picture
  5. 15 points
    HappyJam

    Pops & Bangs

    As you accelerate off, throw a few of these out your window!
  6. 13 points
    Steve

    Did you find FOC members helpful?

    Do you find forum responses from FOC members helpful? We would imagine you did, so please show your appreciation to our members and click "Like" in their post. It's members that go out of their way to help each other that make FOC such a great place, so liking their post is a visual way to say thanks!
  7. 13 points
    Hiya Everyone, Ok i hope admin do not mind this post as it is a little off the beaten track but hope it will be allowed . I have been on this forum for about 10 months and have been amazed at how brilliant a forum it is . It is well run,easy to navigate but for the most part the thing that makes it great is for the most part there is very little attitude and even if a question is posted by a newbie thats been asked before there is usually someone willing to help out. Now just before i got my car i asked LOTS of questions and continued to do so after with some brilliant replies.But here is the reason i did so and will maybe make folk think in future about posting. I am 43 now but at the age of 24 i was a succesful healthy guy working in London for a global Architectural firm and playing semi pro football in my spare time but my other passion was cars.I would love in the early 90's doing up a couple of Astra SRI's and a GTE as well as a beloved Renault 5 GT Turbo.It was my drug.When folk i knew were smoking weed i would not touch it as i wanted to put money into getting the next bit for the car ICE system etc. I had just finished a 4 year diploma course and to celebrate went abroad.On the final day i got very sick and from that day my life changed . They could not find what it was and i went into a dowbward spiral . I ended up losing everything,job,life savings,pension,girlfriend,many "friends" but worst was my freedom and my car . It turned out i had a bad case of CFS/ME . For 5 years i was totally housebound and would spent days on end in bed thinking why me and wishing i was able to enjoy life but was not to be . I also dreamed one day of being able to even travel 2 miles because i had and still to this day have 24 hour nausea and travelling was near impossible for a further 5 years but slowly things improved. I will never be fully healthy it would seem but the past 3 years i now have a gf who has helped me beyond belief and actually this coming friday i am attempting to travel to Amsterdam,a journey which has not been possible since 1996 ! But the biggest deal to me was i sold the last of the things i had and was helped a little to raise some funds and finally got a sports car . I could have gone for an old banger but i vowed i would do my best that one day i would get back something sporty i could be proud of.As i am not able to work i dont have an endless pot but managed to in February get my 2010 Zetec s . Ok it is a bit under powered for a 1.8 and the suspensions hard as hell but it is MY car. Now why am i rambling on about this you may ask on a car forum ? Well as i had been out of the loop i really needed the help of those who are passionate and knowledgable about their cars.I needed reassurance that i was doing the right thing and also a helping hand to sort things if they went wrong . Well right here is where i have had all of that . In the first month the amount of questions i was asking no doubt a few thought i was a pain in the bum,i hope i was not to annoying but i will never forget the help during the first month from the legends that are Lenny and Salsheikh.You gave me enough confidence to take the gamble to go for it and have helped since many many times and i will be eternally grateful . Lenny you said a few times to me that you do it in the hope those you help will help others . Well i am no guru but each time i see a newbie ask i always try to help if i can now because YOU said that. So what i am saying is maybe as a bit of a chritmas lesson to us all is that yes some questions can crop up a few times and no doubt we have all done the "Oh lord how many times has it been asked?" when we have seen some questions but maybe just maybe there may be more to why the questions being asked as you can maybe see by my case. So i would just like to say a huge thank you for all the help you have given a single user who has been down on his luck but has fought back and got one of his dreams back thanks in no short measure to all you guys . Be it the legends like Lenny and Sal,be it the mechanical experts or the amateure tinkerer , be it the admin here or the casual user we all share the same love of cars and have a wonderful community.And in this time of terror attacks etc it is so nice to have a little haven here like this. So may i be one of the first to wish every single member here an amazing Christmas and the most happy and healthy (And heavily overspent on your Focus haha) 2016 . Cheers guys Jon
  8. 13 points
    laumk7

    Things I Don't Like

    Sent from my iPad using Ford OC
  9. 12 points
    mainwoodk@

    car keys

    how do i get my car key reprogramed after the batterys have failed
  10. 11 points
    Preee

    My Mk3.5 Titaniumx Focus ☺

    Picked her up one hour ago ☺ more pics to follow soon. Mk3.5 Focus Titanium X 2015 Deep Impact Blue 1.5 Ecoboost (182)ps Appearance Pack 2 Driver Assist Pack Satnav Heated Steering Wheel Helko Wind deflectors Red caliper painted Brakes Mudflaps front & rear ZS Spoiler (soon) Led's fitted in boot Front/rear Dash cam (not yet fitted) ST Android Pod (not yet fitted) Blue Focus Rubber door mats Blue Focus Door handle inserts
  11. 11 points
    E5GDM

    Make my fiesta girly!

    kerb the alloys, reverse into something, & fill the car interior with junk 😄
  12. 11 points
    GMX

    Forgive Me Father, For I Have Sinned!

    You'll also need to recite this hourly The Fords Prayer Our Focus, the ST is heaven Hallowed be the Escort The Mustang comes Thy Edge is done on earth, so is the Fusion Gives us our Max's: B, C, and S's As we forgive those who Nissan and Peugeot and lead us not into VW but deliver us from Vauxhall For thine is the Transit The Ranger and Fiesta For Ever and Ever Mondeo :D
  13. 11 points
    Mordey

    What Rattles In Your Fiesta?

    The Wife's mouth used to rattle on quite a bit about how i drive too fast. Soon put a stop to that, put her in a touring car as a passenger for a quick lap round Thruxton. Haha
  14. 11 points
    Drive the Vauxhall into a wall. Make sure it is solid, as you do not want to be held liable for any vauxhall shaped marks on the wall. If there aren't any walls nearby, drop it off a cliff. I haven't a clue how the two compare according to the info you require. But I can give you the following info: The Fiesta isn't !Removed!, the Vauxhall is. You will get 1,000,000 more street cred, as it has the Ford logo on. The Vauxhall logo removes all dignity and instantly turns the owner into a mong. All the cool people drive Fords, see the following on this owners club. The Vauxhall fans suffer erectile dysfunction, herpes and are 100% more likely to wee themselves. Ditching a Vauxhall for a Ford results in better health, will save dolphins, end World Hunger, and after 5 years of being away from Vauxhall Ownership you will be almost as healthy as you were pre-Vauxhall. Happy to help
  15. 10 points
    Bannko

    Update Sync 2 The Easy Way

    Well the all mighty update v3.10 is here before i was sending the download link only for Language pack 2 and via PM. But now it is already available for all other language packs. I have used the original Language Pack2 update and edited it for all other EU language packs that were available on the Russian site: chipford.ru The installation is the same as before so: 1. Download and unzip onto USB stick (formatted to FAT32) 2. On the USB stick you should have only: "SyncMyRide" folder and "autoinstall.lst" file 3. Start your car, engine must be running all the time 4. Plugin the USB in you car and the installation will start automatic. Installation time approx. 22 minutes. After the installation the SYNC will have no saved data from Phone or Navigation - so you have to set it up all again. For those who have the NAVIGATION activated additionally - you won't loose it after this USB update. And of course, UPDATE ON YOUR OWN RISK ! DOWNLOAD LINKS: EU Language Pack 1 - German, English (British), Russian, Turkish: https://mega.nz/#!wUgHySTC!i2YQMUxLhTQiBrjnNYQ1TsZSGqSBRa1LEOepfFpb1Mw EU Language Pack 2 - German, English (British), Russian: https://mega.nz/#!gRICRBrB!9JNa7d3_3Mn2SEZ-iKyfY4ac6scb4UjogmEwdke5B_I EU Language Pack 3 - German, English (British), French, Italian: https://mega.nz/#!4YRDDRLD!tZMhM-o8nAJ-pJSgrfqX3XpYqeiX4DEZ15UCnB1LwUY EU Language Pack 4 - German, English (British), French, Swedish: https://mega.nz/#!1RhW0RpC!AKl1rA96-kc3zYUdOjWKJP4yxjj4uqKlrPCyKCPzPeo EU Language Pack 5 - English (British), Spanish, French, Portuguese: https://mega.nz/#!cc4HSKwa!2evt2tQmfe8deCfyHZgsfCkkkB77lp5r5o_yra9Y31A EU Language Pack 6 - German, English (British), French, Dutch: https://mega.nz/#!dA4QDRZS!WsA-gbxK-MZjMGp9plZSjIYUhd6us_nWQAzLiNKW4p8 AND it is not suitable for North American My Ford Touch !
  16. 10 points
    jmurray01

    What do people do for work?

    This is what I do every day... And then the doctor wonders why my blood pressure is so high!
  17. 10 points
    laumk7

    My new car

  18. 10 points
    Finally got full kit on woooooooo!
  19. 10 points
    GMX

    Spot The Poor Vauxhall!

    ermmmm...perhaps the blasphemous folk need to be reminded, and recite this again The Fords Prayer Our Focus, the ST is heaven Hallowed be the Escort The Mustang comes Thy Edge is done on earth, so is the Fusion Gives us our Max's: B, C, and S's As we forgive those who Nissan and Peugeot and lead us not into VW but deliver us from Vauxhall For thine is the Transit The Ranger and Fiesta For Ever and Ever
  20. 10 points
    Just a hint to my new toy coming very soon-
  21. 10 points
    jeebowhite

    Car Abuse At Work!

    People have so little respect for their own property and worse they have less for other peoples. I have had stand up rows and smacked massive dents in other peoples cars before. Whilst they were watching me. Had a guy open his car door into mine, whilst I was sat in it, he chipped the paint, I got out and confronted him and he was being a royal donkey about it. Said I should stop complaining and at least he didnt dent it, I asked if it was alright to dent other peoples cars and he replied it was. So I smacked the door open hard enough that I dented his and took his paint with me. He asked me what I was playing at, and I just replied "you said its perfectly alright to dent other peoples cars". His face was a picture, and as he started getting irate, his missus led him off, telling him "if you weren't being such a (c bomb) and werent so far up your own (backside) then he wouldnt have done it!" she turned to me and apologised that he had damaged my car, and said she would have done the same in my shoes. This was quite some time ago, and looking back I acknowledge its probably seen as criminal damage, but some people are just so self obsessed and care so little, that they need to get a taste of their own disrespect.
  22. 10 points
    Paramanic

    Spot The Poor Vauxhall!

    every driver hates vauxhall lol even vauxhall drivers hate vauxhall lol if i remember i got this from a vauxhall corsa forum that my mate (which has a Corsa) gave it to me years ago i found this in my old files form years ago in my pc jokes :P Q: What goes on pages 4-5 of the Corsa user's manual? A: The train & bus schedule Q: How do you upgrade a Corsa? A: Put in an engine. A man goes to a parts garage: Man: "Can I have a windshield wiper for a Corsa please?" Parts man: "Yeah, that seems like a fair swap." Q: What is the sport-version of Corsa? A: The driver wears Nike shoes. Q: What do you call a Corsa at the top of a hill? A: A miracle. Q: What do you call two Corsas at the top of a hill? A: A mirage. Q: What do you call a Corsa with dual exhausts? A: A wheelbarrow Q: How do you double the value of a Corsa? A: Put in half a tank of petrol! Q: What do you have to do if your Corsa gets in the way of a swarm of killer bees? A: Stop pushing and take refuge into the car. Q: Why do Corsas have heated rear windows? A: To keep your hands warm when you're pushing them. Q: What to you call a Corsa with brakes? A: Customized. Q: What is the Corsa owner's most ardent wish? A: To buy a car. Q: What do you call a Corsa with a seat belt? A: A rucksack. Q: What do you call a Corsa with a flat tire? A: A write off. Q: How do you make a Corsa go faster uphill? A: Throw out the passenger. Q: How do you make a Corsa go faster downhill? A: Turn off the engine.
  23. 9 points
    alexp999

    Update Sync 2 The Easy Way

    After a lot of searching, reading and translating, I came across direct links to Ford servers hosting the official EU upgrade files for Sync 2. No need to sign up to the Ford India website, just download, extract to the root of a FAT32 formatted USB stick and away you go. I did use the Ford India website to determine which language pack matches to my VIN for use in the UK. It shouldn't really matter as all EU language packs include British English, but I get a bit OCD so wanted to know which one Ford would use. That turned out to be Language Pack 5. I have read that you may need a minimum of the F4 SD card or newer, however everyone with Sync 2 in the EU should have F4 following the recall (if you have Nav fitted). Here is the full list of the Oct 15 update, if you are not from the UK, but another EU country, you need to make sure you download the correct language pack to include the language you want to be able to speak (and have spoken) to the car in: Language Pack 1 - German, English (British), Russian, Turkish: http://ivsu.binaries.ford.com/swparts/Gen2v38build15128updatepackageEULangpack1Rev4.zip Language Pack 2 - German, English (British), Polish, Russian: http://ivsu.binaries.ford.com/swparts/Gen2v38build15128updatepackageEULangpack2Rev4.zip Language Pack 3 - German, English (British), French, Italian: http://ivsu.binaries.ford.com/swparts/Gen2v38build15128updatepackageEULangpack3Rev4.zip Language Pack 4 - German, English (British), French, Swedish: http://ivsu.binaries.ford.com/swparts/Gen2v38build15128updatepackageEULangpack4Rev4.zip Language Pack 5 - English (British), Spanish, French, Portuguese: http://ivsu.binaries.ford.com/swparts/Gen2v38build15128updatepackageEULangpack5Rev4.zip - This is the one I used Language Pack 6 - German, English (British), French, Dutch: http://ivsu.binaries.ford.com/swparts/Gen2v38build15128updatepackageEULangpack6Rev4.zip US/NA Only (for our cousins across the pond): http://ivsu.binaries.ford.com/swparts/Gen2v38build15128updatepackageNARev2.zip For 3.10, please see this post: Once you have downloaded and extracted the zip to the root of a USB drive (min 2GB formatted as FAT32), you need to remove all other USB sticks/devices from the ports on the car (Nav SD can be left in), then start the engine and turn off auto/stop start. Plug the USB in and it should auto detect the update files, then just follow the on screen instructions. You need to give yourself at least 30 mins for the update to install, in that time you can drive the car, but remember that anything normally displayed on the screen will not be available (rear view cam, sensor distance, etc.). Here are some before, during and after pics: Big thanks to this post on focus fanatics for the url and available files.
  24. 9 points
    Turvey

    iPhone x

    Sorry, not sorry. Couldn't resist!
  25. 9 points
    All non-management staff on FOC are volunteers and therefore we give our free time to help run the forum. There are over 50 different sections on this forum to categorise threads and ensure you are receiving the most appropriate responses. The General Chat forum is ONLY for threads which DO NOT fit any other category. If your thread is anything do to with a specific model, it should go in the relevant model club section. If related to Fords in general, in the General Ford forum, etc. We have spent longer moving threads out of general chat and in to the correct section than anything else on the forum, but this will no longer be the case. In future, any thread which is not general chat, i.e. related to Fords or fits in another category will be deleted without warning.
  26. 9 points
    If you tint headlights you run the risk of failing your MoT and anyhow why make headlights darker? The roads are dim enough to start with, why run the risk of dull lights causing accidents. Only chavs in Vauxhalls tint headlights. [emoji16] Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
  27. 9 points
    kpg

    Kpgs Mk3 Focus Titanium

    Folks you may have noticed that I've been relatively quiet on here for a while. The reason being, my wife and I have bought our first house together. We are finally getting settled and all is well so I won't bore you all with the details. But we are extremely happy. Things with the car are sorta on hold at the minute. A few things need tidied up with the wrap, few sections creeping back at the edges, nothing serious. I've made a deal with a guy I do work for to get my alloys done panther black in exchange for a few bits of his car wrapped so that's coming up. Just aiming to get the car half show ready for the Causeway Coast Ford Fair in June/July. **House Update** I printed some wallpaper at work for the mancave: Well chuffed. Just need some shelves and stuff to display the Lego collection !
  28. 9 points
    As an Officer myself I can't comment on their procedures as they do vary by force however the speed cameras in the cars can pick you out from over half a mile away (can't divulge the actual technical specs). Traffic cops are known for being 'keen' though and you'll never win an argument with them as they know traffic laws inside out. The law is changing this month whereby the 10% leeway is being dismissed so be aware. Also please don't tar all of us with the same brush, I'm not looking for a knighthood, just a honest days wage like everyone else. Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
  29. 9 points
    GMX

    Things I Do Like

    I do like spending 3½ hours in the delightful company of Pipper the springer spaniel. http://www.margaretgreenanimalrescue.org.uk/41870 We bonded instantly (as I did with Brandy 16 years ago), we then had a 2 hour walk around the dog walking paddocks, followed by an hour of play and cuddling. Like a cat, she likes to be cuddled: with her sitting on your lap and nuzzling, And we then had another hours walk, before I had to hand her back, for the visiting time period was closing, for the day. I told the rescue centre I would like to offer her a forever home and for them, to begin the rehoming process. I couldn't have found a better new companion I going to see her tomorrow for another session, and hopefully daily, until the rehoming process concludes and she finally comes to stay
  30. 9 points
    We all appreciate that you may not quite grasp 100% the advice offered on this forum but the answers you seek are not straightforward or easy to explain. I believe that everyone who has offered advice to you have been nothing but patient and happy to go out of their way to help. I'm sure that nobody here wants to patronise you by only replying in words of one syllable. You have joined the forum for answers to your car problems so please don't insult members when they try to help you. Remember that many of us are car amateurs like yourself therefore their answers will consist of varying levels of guesswork and a gradual process of elimination. We get that you have problems but to be bluntly honest it appears to me that you are the one making an issue of it not the other members. Sent from my SM-G930F
  31. 9 points
    Fastlife, I'm taking my moderator hat off for a moment right now... I would never discriminate a member for any reason, especially with a disability and I am offended as an individual that after I catered for your difficulties by explaining several ways and detailed reasons as to how you can do these tests and dedicated a lot of time away from my family to support you, only to recieve your blatant rude retort below. If I was in a pub with you and you had said that, I would have flipped out or walked away yet you didn't understand how the below was potentially seen as an offensive retort to someone trying to help you. I supported you and your retort of **somebody kill me now** was where I had my problem, nothing to do with your difficulties but everything to do with your attitude problem in your response. Putting my mod hat back on, if you feel I have treat you unfairly, I invite you to complain to Steve and Trevor, detailing your concerns and your reasons for how I have treat you so poorly. In fact I would ask you to do this, as I will not be seen on this forum apparently abusing members and allowing that to be the case and having it going unrecognised by forum management. I will start the ball rolling by quoting@steve and@trevor in this reply. I have been a part of this forum for I believe 8 years now, have the highest post count of all members and have served as a moderator for I believe around d 5 years or more, in that time I have never treat any member unfairly, rudely or in any way discriminatory. On an unrelated moderator point, you talk about how you would want people to approach you, yet you start a rant in my direction on another public thread, after I explained what my problem was with you. I came from knowing nothing 8 years ago, to knowing all I do now mostly because of this forum, I preach how to save money because I was fed up being burned by dealers, and I would hope I have helped many more members over the years than you will have the pleasure of knowing. I'm offended I have been referred to as a troll though. Sent from my D6603 using Tapatalk
  32. 9 points
    iantt

    Things I Don't Like

    wtf!!! that was a lucky escape, when you said about parking the merc up off road due to mot running out, i wasnt expecting that. i would cancel the mot booking though. glad to here your ok.
  33. 9 points
    iantt

    Spot The Poor Vauxhall!

    aimed at the older corsa driver is a new system dubbed MLA - Middle Lane Assist - which relies on a series of sophisticated sensors to detect if the driver is displaying anything resembling correct motorway discipline and triggers a warning tone so that they can resume their correct spot in the middle lane, even though the inside lane is completely empty. MLA is directly linked to another exciting new feature known as ASA, or Annoying Speed Assist, which is capable of detecting the speed limit for any given road and then holding the car at precisely 4.5mph less than that. Meanwhile, low speed manoeuvring is taken care of by another revolutionary system labelled Inept Park Assist (IPA) which works off the familiar bumper-mounted parking sensors but sends the information from them to a dedicated ECU which then assesses the steering and throttle inputs needed to bump repeatedly into the car behind and still manage to come to rest bang slap in the middle of a kerbside space that is actually big enough to accommodate two cars, if they weren't driven by people who are idiots. Of course, the new Corsa isn't just about technology. Amongst the unique aesthetic features premiering on this model, Vauxhall is promising the younger lady driver a standard fit range of stupid little teddy bears and gonks strewn all over the dashboard and rear seat so that the entire interior resembles a 12 year old girl's bedroom. When the new Corsa goes on sale in the spring ,prices are expected to start at whatever Vauxhall reckons it can get away with, given that anybody buying one clearly knows nothing about cars and will be so busy deciding what stupid name they're going to give it that they won't ask for a discount. (found this on another car forum. lol)
  34. 9 points
    The Archaeologist

    Why do STs attract cretins?

    Early one morning....just as the sun was rising....I was on my merry way in my 'dark-horse' Volvo V70 T5 290bhp. There was literally nowt on t'road when this c*ck in a Vectra SRi (I hate them with a vengeance!!!) tried to climb into the back of the estate. After a couple of hundred yards, in true Sweeney style, he dramatically swung the car out onto the other lane to overtake me. I adjusted my tweed trilby to a jaunty angle, checked the crease in my Farrah slacks, and took off. I checked my speedo and I was a ton up (foolish I know) but what tickled my funny-bone was the view in my mirror of this Vauxhall Sh*tRi 200 yards back STILL in the oncoming lane, probably thinking to himself "ah, THAT'S why the police drive V70 T5's!!....". A prize chump in the making.
  35. 9 points
    chrisroberson99

    Things I Do Like

    Thanks guys! This picture explains itself I think!
  36. 9 points
    666Damian666

    H

    Stick a Lion in the boot and let it go hungry, that should do it
  37. 9 points
    My patience has exhausted with people today and this is the last straw for me, so most people will notice that this is not my standard forum tone... Please for gods sake tell me you know what the steering lock is?!?!?!?!? Steering wheels never lock central in my experience, you tend to pull the wheel to one side which activates the steering lock, which most of the time has a slight angle in the direction of the wheel movement. I am no expert, but that is probably what your issue is. If the issue isnt the wheel locking, you may find it beneficial to ensure the language you use in your "help needed" thread is actually reflective of the issue you face. Now, On the other hand, I have been a member here for many years, and find more and more people willing to donate their time, to help me do stuff and fix my problems, with no expectations in advance. If I take the amount of time I have spent on the forums and add it up, I wouldnt be surprised if I have spent the equivalent of about 3-6 months non stop on this forum supporting members, like yourself who need it, and seeking help also. I know we all get anxious, I have dived on the forums after what seems like a complete failure of my car, clicking refresh every 30 seconds in the hope that someone has seen it and been able to offer their words of wisdom. I might even nudge it up the queue if I have seen activity on the forum elsewhere and my post has slipped, but I dont stand there and belittle the efforts of complete strangers, who do nothing more than try to understand your problem to try and give you a guiding hand to fixing the issue. we are human, and whilst Jamie may have a picture of a fiesta as his picture, I just want to clarify that he is actually a real boy (oh look, a bit like me, I am not actually the backside end of a mondeo oddly enough!) He has tried to help you and he has misunderstood the point you made. So he has deleted his post as it made no sense to the issue. He then also apologised for his misunderstanding, and yet your rudeness will have put him off even wanting to bother. For the record, he didn't delete your thread, he deleted the content of his reply to your thread, and did not remove your problem from the public domain, As you can tell by comments such as mine, and those above. We welcome new members here from any area of the world, with any Ford car, or even non fords for that matter. Whilst we love to take people in, we dont like having people come in with bad attitudes and slandering the good nature of all our enthusiasts, who give nothing but their time to help others, to try and save you a bucket load of money going to a garage to get the same advice at a hefty price. If you want to stick around, you may want to apologise, adjust your tone, and appreciate the points we have all made above. I know your car might be the world to you, but we have our own worlds and lives, and we are not on call for you personally 24 hours a day. We try to help each other and that is how we live our lives, going to work, looking after families, kids, education, crisis' and yet we still manage to pave a way to the computer, to login and help each other out. You have misjudged our forum, and if you wish to take your misjudgement and deactivate your account, I will personally crack open a bottle. However, if you stick around and rectify your attitude, contribute and take things away as we all do, I will crack open two, and if I ever meet you, I will buy you two of your own to crack as well. Now, I shall retire to a darkened room, where I will meditate, consume copious amounts of alcohol and wait for my stress levels to subside to a more humanly interactive level.
  38. 9 points
    @fastlife, have you thought that the reason you're not getting help is because you are rude? That attitude is not appreciated on our club and further occurrences will most likely end in you being generally ignored by other users. Please and thank you are still customary and patience is a virtue. We are all (amateur) enthusiasts here and you should remember that. if you are that concerned about safety of your vehicle can I suggest you take it to another garage and get them to assess it? BTW, in my experience it is often that garages do tracking alignment but do not re-centre the steering wheel which in itself is not dangerous but is lazy and annoying. I would also say that it is likely that they may have aligned your tracking but to a boggo standard parameter rather than the correct factory values, some bias is applied to take road camber into consideration while driving but is different for each make of car.
  39. 9 points
    GMX

    This Will Amuse You Vauxhall Haters

    Earlier today, I was removing my tools, the contents of the glovebox, door pockets etc from the Astra, prior to sticking it on ebay/gumtree/accepting the local brokers quote of £27 collected It started to rain again. I had the tailgate and both front doors open The dog looked out of the back door, looked up at rain, looked across to the lawn, and then ran up to the open Astra, jumped in, squatted down and deposited a sizeable No.2 Two bags worth!
  40. 9 points
    MONDEO TXS 2.2

    Migrant Crisis

    One of the many problems, as I see it, is that Western powers are damned if they interfere & damned if they don't Iraq, under Saddam Hussein, as bad as he was, was at least reasonably stable, the same is true of Libya under Gaddafi - both were tyrants who ruled with an iron fist, but that's because they had to, to maintain reasonable order and they both knew that. Syria is similar in as much as the people want '' democracy '' but are incapable of achieving it as tribal conflict overwhelms them & of course Assad is in the same mould and Gaddafi & Hussein Once these two were removed all hell broke loose and it continues to this day. Throw in a bunch of terrorists & the recipe for disaster is there Arab mentality / culture / religion is very different to the prevailing Western equivalents & integration is not easy for either party. Many of these people are not genuine refugees in the true sense of the word, but economic migrants in search of a better life, many are also spineless cowards who should be fighting for their Country and not running away when the going gets tough. As stated by the P.M. the best way to help these people is to try & restore order in their respective countries - which makes the circle complete as that is seen as interference. We in the U.K. & Ireland are fortunate that the Schengen agreement does not apply to us & although the U.K. taxpayer contributes more than any other E.U. country to the refugee camps in Syria it must be noted that the U.K. is £1.5 trillion in debt with a budgetary deficit in addition & too many of it's own citizens reliant on food banks, large scale unemployment, a social housing crisis & the shameful fact that we have ex service men & women sleeping on our streets. I am all for helping those in genuine need and to do that effectively the U.K. needs to get it's own house in order first
  41. 9 points
    vito787

    Meet My Grey Edition!!

    So this past week my cars been to CVC wraps "Cheshire vehicle cosmetics" http://www.cheshirevehiclecosmetics.com/ I had the car fully wrapped in dark gloss grey with a gloss black roof and other bits in gloss black and the splitter is wrapped in carbon fibre!! Please let me know what you guys think!? Hope you guys like it!! O and I think it's the only one in the country!!! :) Sent from my iPhone using Ford OC
  42. 9 points
    karlos1987

    Spot The Poor Vauxhall!

    Just seen this on Facebook. Made me chuckle. Lol
  43. 9 points
    Ianb

    I Can't Understand Some Drivers...

    I bet I'm a sort of driver that bugs some of you, I'm the sort of person that drives to the speed limits, so if I'm told it's a 30zone I will do 30...but these other kind and I'm sure there are a couple on FOC really irritate the pea eye double ess out of me! Drove up to see the parents on the weekend and it's a twisty single carriageway A road I need to take, it goes through villages and towns, for the most part it's a fun drive, I doubt the most fuel efficient encouraging drive because of the tight corners and banked bits, it's fun... But some people drive me insane... I'm there steaming along and zoink, stuck, somebody is trundling along at 35-45 mph in a '60' zone, now don't get me wrong, you might not be comfortable pushing it, you might not know the road etc... Then you hit a small village and it's a 30 zone... So it's a Sunday, it's a nice day, balloons tied to things, therefore evidence of kids and these people continue at their 35-45 speed... They put some distance between me and them so that when it hits the 60 zone again I have to catch them up and miss a few overtaking spots.... I don't understand their brains...they're not comfortable to keep good speed, but they're comfortable to speed through sleepy villages... Motorways or even the 60 zones I can understand speeding more so, as technically it's out of the way of pedestrians etc, but small villages/towns etc?! Just madness...
  44. 9 points
    MONDEO TXS 2.2

    Things I Don't Like

    Drivers who assume it's always safe to drive at, or in excess of any given speed limit
  45. 9 points
    Stoney871

    Members Mug Shots....

    One for the ladies ;) (I have aged a bit since this one though)
  46. 9 points
    TheRookie

    I've Been Insulted By A German!

    I took this picture in Nuremberg when driving to a trade show:
  47. 8 points
    Phil21185

    Things I Don't Like

    On the flip side: Guy comes home from work to see his kids playing in a corner of the living room and his wife sat on the sofa reading a magazine. He asks his wife "What do you do all day while I'm at work?!" Next day he comes home to find the kids just in their pants, covered in paint and food, the whole house a mess from top to bottom and his wife sat on the sofa reading a magazine. When he asks "What the hell happened?!" She replies: "Well you know yesterday you asked me what I did all day? Well today I didn't do it..." Sent from my SM-G920F using Tapatalk
  48. 8 points
    Me: Got my modded ELM! Yay! Me 5 mins later: Killed my car. Boo. Me 2 mins and a lot of swearing later: Thank holy turdballs I took a save of the ECU configs! Explanation: Got my ELM as I always like to bugger around with things and see what's what. Fine. Really all I wanted to do was to enable auto door locking when you drive off (I live in Gainsborough. They'll have your wheels off if you're going less than 20mph... ) . Found the setting, changed it to enabled and all seemed good! Unplugged the reader and took 'er for a spin round the block. At 3mph my doors locked and i do this face ---> Shortly afterwards on the same trip I notice my cruise control/limiter controls don't respond. I do this face ---> cos I'm thinking I probably caught another setting without realising. So I pull up at my house and plug the reader back in but stupidly forget to switch the engine off. As FoCCCus grabs my cars settings, the engine cuts out and when FoCCCus loads, a crapload of DTC faults appear on EVERY system (BCM, IPC, etc. But most importantly PCM). I do this face ---> and clear them all with the software - they're all loss of signal faults so I assume its cos the engine cut out on its own but the PCM faults persist. I look down the list and see 'Crash'. I do this face ---> as I realise the car thinks its been involved in a crash as the engine was killed and will not allow it to be started again. Lo and behold it wont start again and I can't clear the fault. I'm now doing this face hoping the wife doesn't hear the car 3 ft from the lounge window not starting --->. Thankfully I also had ForScan which did clear the Crash fault and after restoring the settings from a backup I made at first read the car started fine again. I also re-applied the auto-lock setting and was careful not to touch any others. The Cruise still didn't work immediately, but after cycling the ignition completely the controls responded. Happy ending, but it was Brown Pants time for a few minutes... So the moral of the story: ALWAYS take a backup of your car's settings before you tinker and NEVER use an OBD reader while the engine is running! Just don't be thick like me =]
  49. 8 points
    hywelkidd

    Hand Job!

    Just reminded me of this. Old but gold :) Sent from my Nexus 6P using Tapatalk
  50. 8 points
    Mental_Atom

    The St Arrived!

    It's SO GOOOD! Pictures tomorrow in daylight :) Coming from the 1.0 it's like night and day... The noise is far too addictive though, I see a high petrol bill in my future. Still getting used to the gearbox, but was definitely a good decision!