catch Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the motorway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but... "Something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it." The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got £9000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's £1000 an inch." The man perks up at this. "So," the doctor says, "It's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision." The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day. "So," says the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?" "I have," says the man. "And what is the decision?" asks the doctor. v v v v v v v v v v v "We're having granite worktops." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gazjs Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 Very good, now to think of some myself! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bulldog Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 LMAO that is something my wife would say :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deano276 Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 haha! i like! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deano276 Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 i organised a threesome last night!........ there were a couple of no shows but i still had a good time :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deano276 Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Marriage is like the witness protection programme. you get new clothes you live in the suburbs and youre not allowed to see your friends anymore! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deano276 Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 When i left home my mum said "dont forget to write!" i thought "that's unlikely!" i mean it is a fairly basic skill isnt it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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