Forgot your password?
Or sign in with one of these services
johnH, February 21, 2011
Posted May 23, 2011
that did make me chuckle then wonder why the hell the lights went out and that stupid annoying binging sound (normally just turn it off) went off. nah im only messing with yas.
isnt eurostar a train? or did you mean that? pmsl
Posted May 24, 2011
Lol, I meant that, our government arent worthy of their own aircraft, and with the budget cuts and the new rules on MP allowances - they cant go buying private flights so they'l just have to do with a day pass to France :D
And just like a true techie!
lights went out and that stupid annoying binging sound (normally just turn it off) went off
"OI Jack, Shut that Bong off... Im trying to fix an alternator over the tinternet and I cant hear myself think..."
thats more me... supposed to be fixing chip and pin's and I probably fix more Foci than I do chip n pin's lol :P
thats exactly how it is jee...followed by the annoying noise of the old forms printer zapping away. only if i had a window! ive put my papers in now, want to leave the RAF...going to work for arriva and their newer technology.
Ok seeing as it's turned into a joke thread, it's time to wheel out my favourite RAF joke again....you better be ready H
cough [clears throat]...................drum roll........
What do you say to a Fast Fighter Jet Pilot when you come face to face with them in civvy street..................
JohnH have you been offered a job with Arriva then? and are you sure you dont have to work your sole away to the RAF like most service personell?
and Catch - i think thats one joke where no matter what your response is, it always always get you laughing! mine rhymes with "Co Bit"
He must be snoozing again jeeb
so in his absence
What do you say to a Fast Fighter Jet Pilot when you come face to face with them in civvy street.................
Big Mac and large Fries please :D :D :D
haha he must be asnoozing indeed, however, im not sure thats what I would ask from him, I'd be more tempted to ask if he knows which way is up, if so could he go that way...
... By which point I would probably find myself attached to his nose cone by G force and ending up at about 60000 feet, and suddenly in "Theatre" as Jeremy Kyle put it! (ps that show is quite good "Military Driving School" - reminds me I need to catch up with this weeks episode...)
.. I really do sympathise with some who will come looking for an answer to the red light issue - expecting to find a brilliant follow up to this episode, and are going to be disappointed, or end up laughing out loud at us...
Either way, its a result!
hey, how did you know i was sleeping? you watching me nah i was on night shift (like now) last night so slept till half 3 ish.
yeah i've been thinking about it long and hard for a while now and decided i dont want to be in anymore. as for arriva, already been for an interview and offered me the job on the spot..so its down to the raf now to let me out in time. i figured i have the quals and experiance so why am i taking pittance for pay when i can get double in civvy street.
i've heard that joke a few times now and still makes me and my colleagues laugh at the poor pilot, who now have to deal with a dwindling number of planes, which is only getting smaller due to cut backs. before long we will be throwing paper planes at the enemy...nah in all reality before long it will all be cyber warfare and people (armies) and equipment wont be needed.
ive seen that program and had to turn it off, it was too fake for my liking...training camps are far from what anyone sees in the "real world" as they bull it up to look like "normal people" but in fact they are very harsh and if you get it wrong...you never get it wrong again as your ear is still ringing
Posted May 25, 2011
OK... Now I know Im missing something... Why do I feel like I dont quite have the same joke in mind as you two! lol Maybe I need to hvae the McDonalds side spelled out to me... :(
As for the job offer, well the RAF wont let you go that easily will they? they will want to get their moneys worth! lol. But the problems with the planes and cutbacks, I can see why the pilots are so stretched... I cant really see the day though that war becomes only cyber, so they will still have something to do :P But I do look forward to a youtube video "JohnH vs the Enemy - Paper Warfare" - I look forward to watching your paper planes cane the opposition :P
Lol, I know how unrealistic they can be (never seen it first hand but I know they are never just 100% as they are) they have to make it look good when they stick a presenter on. I think it would be better just to see a video diary of the trainees - Much more realistic!
Having said that I have learned a lot about our tools of the trade, and they really are very impressive machines.
Well jeeb, imagine you leave the RAF a highly trained Fast Fighter Jet Pilot, you walk into the Job Centre.....how many openings do you see for a FFJP ? :)
aaaah, lol... Heres me looking for an article about a fighter jet parking on top of Ronald lol
Posted May 26, 2011
I now feel somewhat responsible for killing the atmosphere of the thread :(
yes you've been a very naughty boy
Oh regards the car in my avatar, not sure of the make. That photo is circa ten years old, we bought it for our first grandson who is 12 years old this December. He was born on Boxing Day, which is funny really because I was born on Christmas Day. And his mum was born on our wedding anniversary....funny old world.
Right off topic now, but the fix of the problem is in there, so the threads served it's purpose.
lol very true :)
JohnH, have your colleagues picked your boogies up yet? :P
sorry was sleeping loads trying to get my sleeping pattern sorted. its been predicted it will go cyber, but by cyber i mean the likes of drones instead of the human input (pilot) which is where it is now pretty much with UAVs.
yeah i put my papers in the bosses wernt to happy like...they will be wondering why 3 off us, pretty much from training have gone there and left. but they say it will take 6 months, but if i have a letter of offer of employment i can get out earlier, they are aware of the current climate but they are not struggling as people go to forces as its a guarenteed job with security.
i have plenty of videos on my phone, of what me and my colleagues get up to in our spare time. my mates say they are hilarous and quite sad at the same time.
even if they did do video diaries, they will still be censored like mad. but its funny the under 18's get meetings every 2 weeks for welfare and they all say "its like a prison" i know coz i even said it, but after 9 months of basic training i went a little nuts and said "i love it and want to stay" and laughed at a new lad who said "its like a prison" i didnt stay, they pushed me through to get rid, pretty much let me do what i wanted.
yeah some tools in the IT techy side are ridiculus on what they can do, i like the fibre fault finder, measures where the snap in the wire is. a good one i found was if you ring 17070 on a bt land line...can find out a bit of info on that ;)
Posted May 27, 2011
Sounds alright! and I heard from mates in the forces that if you get out early, you have to repay the training costs? so hopefully they wont send you a bill through the post!
I have to say though
its a guarenteed job with securityGood ol' techtools!Good luck to you though! hopefully if you can get into civvy street sooner rather than later, some normality may be restored!
Good ol' techtools!
Good luck to you though! hopefully if you can get into civvy street sooner rather than later, some normality may be restored!
Posted May 29, 2011
nah they wont bill me for the training costs, the way the RAF do it is, once you have completed basic trade training or hit a certain date in your employment under the crown, you are stuck for 4 years unless you get discharged for say failing a fitness test 3 times or any other criminal acts. myself had wierd dates due to fracturing my tibias and heel (in both legs) in basic training so when i hit my date i was finishing basic training starting trade...that was 4 years ago this december.
but there is a rule saying if i have a letter of offer of employment they can let me but its up to manning to decide.
yeah i hope i can gain some normality back, mind you i worked at currys soon as i finished school for 9 months and went to join raf...so i didnt get the full feel of civvy life.
Posted June 22, 2012
john I seem to be having a very similar problem if not the same one with my dads 2006 focus 1.8tdci
Basically the alternator appeared to be pumping out nothing, and when the engine is running im getting 11.5v.
changed the alternator and im getting 13.5v with the 3 pin connector on and 14v with it off! so there is something not right with the ecu/smart charge
is the wiring harness for this available seperately or is it a main engine harness job? guessing they just spliced your wiring?
the harness is part of the entire engine harness, so alot of money. best bet is to find the break and resolder. im not too sure on what ford did but i bet they just resoldered.
places to look from memory is the tie where the 3 pin connector is held and in the wheel arch near ecu.
Posted June 23, 2012
hey,the harness is part of the entire engine harness, so alot of money. best bet is to find the break and resolder. im not too sure on what ford did but i bet they just resoldered.places to look from memory is the tie where the 3 pin connector is held and in the wheel arch near ecu.
in the wheel arch, presumably behind the plastic liner?
Posted June 24, 2012
yeah as mentioned in your other thread. right near ecu
Posted December 24, 2012
Hi sorry to add to an old post but I now have this problem and need advice . I will start at the start . Ok the bearing in alternator been going bad for about a year . I changed it last week because the bearing noise was driving me mad . It was still working ok . Just the bearings . Also the battery was old and getting low . 4 days ago battery wouldn't start the van so I went to parto and got new battery . All was good untill today . I went out and all was good . Went to go out again 20 mins later and the battery light was on . Bright red no flickering . Locked on . Tried revving engine and light still on . So I checked alternator 3 wire plug . Cleaned it and put back . Started van and still on . So put multimeter on battery . 12.6v started van and then got 13.6v . I watched multimeter and put lights on full and blower on full . It stayed 13.6v revved van and still 13.6v . I have done 1000 miles on new alternator and about 300 on new battery . The battery partco sold me is a normal lead acid battery . I've just read that they not recommended . How and what do I check . Could the battery have fried the smart charge ? Or possible broken wire .? I'm no good with a multimeter and electrics so could someone explain what tests and how please . I just havnt got the money spare to take to garage . And if its still charging can I just ignore the light . Would more damage be caused by my battery if I carried on using it ? . If the battery fried the smart charge would it mean a new ecu ? Help please
Sorry forgot to say its a transit 2001 100 ps on the above thread
as you already know mate a standard lead acide is no good for the smart charge system, it should be a silver or calcium type.
not sure if the battery can cause damage to the ecu or not though
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Already have an account? Sign in here.