I could have told you that.........Hang on a minute, I did
Eh these young uns....they just don't listen to those who have most likely been there done that........ There was a valid reason why Native American Tribal War Councils were made up of older tribal members, and the actual war parties made up of Young Bucks 
To be fair, you have me banged to rights! I think the problem was in my frustration, I was pushing and pulling everything (I did try to push that bit and couldnt get it to come out) I can only assume its a combination of wussy arms, cold wussy arms and the mental block!
I do like being proven wrong, its the only way to learn!
A few suggestions to all who may need to do this
1) get rid of your living room and put a garage in there... who really needs family time anyway? lol
2) If you do try to replace the wingmirror assembly, then do it when its warm, or do it in short stints!
3) hunt anyone down like a wild dog who you suspect hit your car, suprisingly (or not) the police wrote to me saying they couldnt do anything or investigate anything, so if you suspect it, chase it up yourself...
Thanks Catch, had it been warm, less stressy, and not for the little one keeping me up day and night, who knows, maybe patience would have prevailed?
Thank you anyway, as I did re-read your post and went out and tried it again (a few times after coming in, holding a bioling cup of coffee, drinking said coffee and trying it all again...) its amazing what warm fingers can do!