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DanGersFord

Foc Official Corsa Bashing Thread

120 posts in this topic

First car is no excuse ;)

Bloke at my work races vauxhall corsas and novas. Apparently he has a corsa b with a 2 litre turbo kicking out over 600bhp.

Although not sure how true all this is as he also told us all that he was a driver for a drug dealing operation... basically spun out the plot to fast and furious :p

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he tried to dumb down fast & the furious with his corsa?

Not even Ali G levels of bragging.

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Haha we all love his stories! We humour him though because he's like a little excited puppy dog.

Don't you think fast and furious could use a corsa? Paul Walker and Vin Diesel battling it out, engines roaring, doing an astonishing 50mph down the interstate? Can't think of anything better myself :p

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i dont think vin diesel could fit in a corsa sweetheart.

He'll wear it like a Little Tikes car and run flinstones style. badass!!

DanGersFord likes this

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Well it would probably be faster that way haha

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he probably generates "600bhp" from his legs running!

And farts NOS.

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Yea that sounds more likely. Maybe he meant that he produces 600bhp when he's pushing it back to the garage? O_o

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or combined 600 when on a trailer...? being towed by something with 540bhp? :ph34r:

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Had the pleasure of stuffing a Corsa tonight on an A road.

He tried to overtake me on a slip road but epic fail.

They're nippy to start with but soon run out of puff.

When i hit 'ahem' 70 he was way behind and not looking so chuffed.

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Had the pleasure of stuffing a Corsa tonight on an A road.

He tried to overtake me on a slip road but epic fail.

They're nippy to start with but soon run out of puff.

When i hit 'ahem' 70 he was way behind and not looking so chuffed.

Watch out - there are fast ones too - still rather puch my Ford than drive one of those though :lol:

Stoney871 likes this

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Theres ones that think they're fast ;)

Because they're light and revvy they can be quite sharp off the line but they just don't have the puff to sustain it.

All out of ideas after 50mph imho.

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If you had been up against a Corsa VXR Stoney, I suspect they would have blown you away. Especially if it was modded. Not that it makes any difference. Plenty of corsas could beat my car in a race but I'm beyond the boy racer days now and it's still a bag of cr*p Corsa.

Tell you what was funny though. A green Focus RS went cruising by with a Corsa VXR edging out to look to overtake. Focus driver appeared to be laughing and rightly so.

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that would of been fun to watch lol

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Been on a few days away and used the ST (managed to get 52mpg on Motorways) and some grim little stain on the road (Corsa) had HID's which blind everything and make me laugh at how cheap they make the car look due to having reflectors decides to fly up behind me flashing me to pull over so it can over take on a country road, it tried overtaking on about 5 bends and realised cars were coming, it got to a straight and pulled out and I decided to nail it; needless to say the little stain disappeared quite quickly, until I decided to slow down where it decided it'd hang way back in order not to be laughed at. Not a bad moment on the holiday to say the least.

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Theres ones that think they're fast ;)

Because they're light and revvy they can be quite sharp off the line but they just don't have the puff to sustain it.

All out of ideas after 50mph imho.

I think its a petrol vs diesel thing - a petrol engined Corsa is quick off the line and then "all revs" in the midrange, and your diesel TDCI is not so quick off the line and then very strong/ "torquy" in the midrange / out of bends / overtaking when in higher gears (all important for "real world" performance/ rather tham "on paper") etc etc

Corsa is still a horrible little rot- box though :lol:

Stoney871 likes this

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Corsa is still a horrible little rot- box though :lol:

No argument there :p

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Hate them, thank God neither of my kids are interested in them, at least Igotthat bit of the parenting thing right!

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Today i learned that despite being able to afford a nice shiny new corsa,they still dont know how to use an indicator.Driving down a local road which has parked cars all along 1 side so only room for 1 car at a time so you need to give way,hes coming from a turning on my right that i need to go down,so he arrives at the junction and as i am unsure if he wants to go left or right,i stop and wait to see which way he is indicating,which he doesnt,then turns at me and stops infront of me blocking the road...had to drive up the pavement to get around him.was pitch dark so it wasnt like he diddnt see my lights or something.spastic people cant drive.

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Stoney, did you not do him for driving without due care and attention? or where you off duty and just showed him a thing or two?

As for the Corsa, well I dont race on the roads, however I will quite happily abandom all fuel economy graces and accelerate as quickly as possible to a legal limit, in order to show these things up.

Recently had two 'attempts' to be shown up by a corsa, both failed.

Had a 1.4 corsa, tarted up looking like he had spent all his pocket money on it, and we were at a set of traffic lights (very little difference to those in america i.e. another set 100 yards ahead) he started revving at me, so I started revving back. Red goes amber and he wheels spins off, I dont move, I then crawl off up to ten miles an hour, after he has slammed his anchors at the next lights, I look over the way, see the amber, and floor it, I get to the lights as they go from amber to green, he starts to wheelspin and I disappear past him at 35, and keep going till hes a dot in the mirror. He eventually caught up with me, with a look of horror (so he should, he just got 'learned' by a minibus ;), so I humour him again, we get to the roundabout, both heading the same way, and we pull away, but then he tries to cut me up. Foot down, and whilst he is in the inside lane, at about 30 still trying to accelerate, I lurched past him and left him for dust, once again he caught up with me at the next set of lights, having seen an undercover bobby car down the road, and knowing fine well I was turning off, I sat at the lights, and he shouts at me 'how about one more' I told him the first to 60 takes ultimate pride (in a 40 zone ;)) he clearly doesn't know the area, and clearly didn't realise that I was going right, but he floored it off, got to the police car and swung out to overtake him at 40 (he clearly didn't realise that I hadn't moved...) all of a sudden, I see blue lights... :D

that was just legendary! he was clearly out to drive like a pratt, and whilst it was safe and legal to do so, I showed him as much. My car is not super tuned, its got an EGR blank, a turbo diesel, and an auto gearbox, hardly the raciest of motors, but I still managed to show him up. But the fact that was willing to go to such lengths in a built up residential area to try and gain back some pride, cost him about £60 and three points!

I caught up with that same cop car later that day, I was overly surprised when I found it was one of my old mates I used to work with in the kitchens. he told me that the guy claimed I was racing him, driving like an eedget, up his backside, and bullied him into going faster. Even my mate saw that I was in the dedicated turn lane when he flew up his jacksey, and told him it was bull, but he had to ask the question, so I told him the truth, I never exceeded the speed limit, there was never any traffic immediately in front of us, and I was always in a seperate lane. Also told him about some of the other manouvers he had been trying to pull (undertaking being one of them, and at one point earlier in the journey he undertook on the hard shoulder). my mates eyes pricked up, and got on the blower, suddenly had an urgent home visit to attend to and gave the guy a true rollocking. I later had a mutual friend drop me a message, Dan had told him to pass on a message: there was no evidence so he couldn't charge him, but apparently he broke down in tears in front of mummy and daddy, who took his keys off him, 3 months driving ban, courtesy of the folks! and his first month driving afterwards was to be accompanied by one of his folks. The guy only passed his test about 2 month ago, and his parents bought him the car as a present...

now that is a victory!

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You naughty bear baiter. ;)

And yes, I was off duty but as always I had my warrant card in my wallet so could still have jobbed him if necessary. :d

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:D some people need a kicking, its better that the law kicked him, so whilst being entirely legal, and embarrassing his effort, I must say it was good fun!

I would expect to have been pulled if I was driving like a fist, so I just expedited proceedings...

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I would never have know it was a Va^%$h"£$ , haha.

2013-1-2.jpg

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that is one of the fugliest face lifts I have ever seen!

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