Spot The Poor Vauxhall!

[Pullock]

3 hours ago, iantt said:

my focus has rear wind up windows.

So does my Fiesta, not a problem until my stepmom is in the back and winds the window down a small amount then doesn't wind it up when she gets out. Then I notice the following day hoping that it didn't rain overnight. Luckily that hasn't happened but on Saturday we swap it for a Focus Titanium which means I can lock them due to them being electric, muahaha no more worries then.

[jmurray01]

3 hours ago, TomsFocus said:

Should've got a Titanium...  Its great accidentally hitting the wrong damn button half the time and dropping the rear window...

You can also still get small cars with front winders though, poverty spec Pixo and C1 etc.  How they sell those I don't know!!  Surely even old people that don't like technology would rather press a button than aggregate thier arthritis on a winder.

How very ageist of you Tom!

In all seriousness, I do prefer electric windows, but in winter they are a pain in the backside when they freeze shut.  I've never had a problem with the 405s windows in winter, as even if they are frozen a good yank on the winder frees them up, but in the Focus and C220 the electric motors are too weak to break the ice and you have to wait for them to defrost naturally, which can take over 30 minutes.

Not exactly convenient if you want a quick cigarette on the drive to work!!

Speaking of which (and getting back on subject), one of my colleagues quit smoking today...  She sold her Corsa!!  (Drum-roll please...).
 

[Stoney871]

Sent from my SM-G930F

[iantt]

sold!! thought corsa owners had to give them away!

[Stoney871]

It's a hot deal.


Sent from my SM-G930F

[jmurray01]

11 minutes ago, iantt said:

sold!! thought corsa owners had to give them away!

They do, but a local pyromaniac was looking for a run-around so she got £300 for it.

[Ken.K]

They do, but a local pyromaniac was looking for a run-around so she got £300 for it.

Lol best forum I have ever been on. Might just keep getting fords to stay in here.

Sent from my HTC 10 using Tapatalk

[iantt]

"got my fingers burnt" once when i bought a zafira.

[jmurray01]

13 hours ago, TomsFocus said:

That piece of loom also melts on 306s!  Granted they're a lot older but still the same issue.  However I've not seen or heard of any bursting into flames like the Corsas seem to...what the hell do they make them with??  I thought fabrics etc fitted to cars would all have to be fire resistant these days, like house carpets and sofas are.  

What I also found surprising was that the Corsas he tested were all found to be non-AC models...I'm amazed you can buy a Corsa that modern without AC, how tight are these Corsa buyers!?  

Well, they do say that cars without Air Conditioning get hot, but Vauxhall took it a step too far!

[jmurray01]

Just now, iantt said:

got my fingers burnt once when i bought a zafira.

Not exactly a burning love then?

[iantt]

what goes on pages 4-5 on the corsa user manual?
the train and bus timetables.

[jmurray01]

1 minute ago, iantt said:

what goes on pages 4-5 on the corsa user manual?
the train and bus timetables.

Or if you opt for a high-spec model, you also get page 6 which includes the numbers of local taxi companies. 

[iantt]

page 1 is exclusivley for fire brigade number. lol ( corsa owner wont be able figure out that number without it being written down )

[Stoney871]

Young driver finally works out how to do a 'Burn Out' in his Corsa, possibly not quite what he was expecting.

 

[Pullock]

I'm cracking up at that way too much  Think I'm in one of those moods tonight where everything is funny, I should really go to bed.

[iantt]

new corsas now come with wireless technology, wireless radio volume control connected to the electric window switch. 

its aimed at the younger driver.

[dezwez]

No fire extinguisher 

[Incontro]

On 12/8/2016 at 8:54 PM, iantt said:

tight ***** ford still dont put rear elec windows on style and zetec specs. still, i dont sit in the back so i aint bothered. lol

Rear drums annoy me 10000x more than rear manual windows!

[iantt]

 aimed at the older corsa driver is a new system dubbed MLA - Middle Lane Assist - which relies on a series of sophisticated sensors to detect if the driver is displaying anything resembling correct motorway discipline and triggers a warning tone so that they can resume their correct spot in the middle lane, even though the inside lane is completely empty. MLA is directly linked to another exciting new feature known as ASA, or Annoying Speed Assist, which is capable of detecting the speed limit for any given road and then holding the car at precisely 4.5mph less than that. 

Meanwhile, low speed manoeuvring is taken care of by another revolutionary system labelled Inept Park Assist (IPA) which works off the familiar bumper-mounted parking sensors but sends the information from them to a dedicated ECU which then assesses the steering and throttle inputs needed to bump repeatedly into the car behind and still manage to come to rest bang slap in the middle of a kerbside space that is actually big enough to accommodate two cars, if they weren't driven by people who are idiots. 

Of course, the new Corsa isn't just about technology. Amongst the unique aesthetic features premiering on this model, Vauxhall is promising the younger lady driver  a standard fit range of stupid little teddy bears and gonks strewn all over the dashboard and rear seat so that the entire interior resembles a 12 year old girl's bedroom. When the new Corsa goes on sale in the spring ,prices are expected to start at whatever Vauxhall reckons it can get away with, given that anybody buying one clearly knows nothing about cars and will be so busy deciding what stupid name they're going to give it that they won't ask for a discount.

(found this on another car forum. lol)

[GMX]

5 hours ago, Incontro said:

Rear drums annoy me 10000x more than rear manual windows!

I'm with you there

[Ken.K]

 aimed at the older corsa driver is a new system dubbed MLA - Middle Lane Assist - which relies on a series of sophisticated sensors to detect if the driver is displaying anything resembling correct motorway discipline and triggers a warning tone so that they can resume their correct spot in the middle lane, even though the inside lane is completely empty. MLA is directly linked to another exciting new feature known as ASA, or Annoying Speed Assist, which is capable of detecting the speed limit for any given road and then holding the car at precisely 4.5mph less than that. 

Meanwhile, low speed manoeuvring is taken care of by another revolutionary system labelled Inept Park Assist (IPA) which works off the familiar bumper-mounted parking sensors but sends the information from them to a dedicated ECU which then assesses the steering and throttle inputs needed to bump repeatedly into the car behind and still manage to come to rest bang slap in the middle of a kerbside space that is actually big enough to accommodate two cars, if they weren't driven by people who are idiots. 

Of course, the new Corsa isn't just about technology. Amongst the unique aesthetic features premiering on this model, Vauxhall is promising the younger lady driver  a standard fit range of stupid little teddy bears and gonks strewn all over the dashboard and rear seat so that the entire interior resembles a 12 year old girl's bedroom. When the new Corsa goes on sale in the spring ,prices are expected to start at whatever Vauxhall reckons it can get away with, given that anybody buying one clearly knows nothing about cars and will be so busy deciding what stupid name they're going to give it that they won't ask for a discount.
(found this on another car forum. lol)

Actually had to read this twice as first time thought it was serious

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[jmurray01]

5 hours ago, Incontro said:

Rear drums annoy me 10000x more than rear manual windows!

Not sure why?  Perhaps they are harder to work on, but in terms of functionality they are more than adequate considering the rear brakes use minimal effort anyway, as opposed to the front.  They are also better for holding the car as rear disks can expand when hot and then contract when cold, thereby allowing the car to move if the handbrake has been applied after a long drive.

[iantt]

2 minutes ago, Ken.K said:

 

Actually had to read this twice as first time thought it was serious

Sent from my HTC 10 using Tapatalk
 

 

isnt it??

[GMX]

18 minutes ago, jmurray01 said:

Not sure why?  Perhaps they are harder to work on, but in terms of functionality they are more than adequate considering the rear brakes use minimal effort anyway, as opposed to the front.  They are also better for holding the car as rear disks can expand when hot and then contract when cold, thereby allowing the car to move if the handbrake has been applied after a long drive.

They take longer to service than discs, particularly if you have hunt through several bushes for the spring, that launched itself forcibly off; across the drive

I've found there always one spring, that slips out of the pliers, pings off into the shrubbery. 

[TomsFocus]

16 hours ago, iantt said:

 aimed at the older corsa driver is a new system dubbed MLA - Middle Lane Assist - which relies on a series of sophisticated sensors to detect if the driver is displaying anything resembling correct motorway discipline and triggers a warning tone so that they can resume their correct spot in the middle lane, even though the inside lane is completely empty. MLA is directly linked to another exciting new feature known as ASA, or Annoying Speed Assist, which is capable of detecting the speed limit for any given road and then holding the car at precisely 4.5mph less than that. 

Meanwhile, low speed manoeuvring is taken care of by another revolutionary system labelled Inept Park Assist (IPA) which works off the familiar bumper-mounted parking sensors but sends the information from them to a dedicated ECU which then assesses the steering and throttle inputs needed to bump repeatedly into the car behind and still manage to come to rest bang slap in the middle of a kerbside space that is actually big enough to accommodate two cars, if they weren't driven by people who are idiots. 

Of course, the new Corsa isn't just about technology. Amongst the unique aesthetic features premiering on this model, Vauxhall is promising the younger lady driver  a standard fit range of stupid little teddy bears and gonks strewn all over the dashboard and rear seat so that the entire interior resembles a 12 year old girl's bedroom. When the new Corsa goes on sale in the spring ,prices are expected to start at whatever Vauxhall reckons it can get away with, given that anybody buying one clearly knows nothing about cars and will be so busy deciding what stupid name they're going to give it that they won't ask for a discount.

(found this on another car forum. lol)

That's gotta be the Allcorsa forum right?  

11 hours ago, jmurray01 said:

Not sure why?  Perhaps they are harder to work on, but in terms of functionality they are more than adequate considering the rear brakes use minimal effort anyway, as opposed to the front.  They are also better for holding the car as rear disks can expand when hot and then contract when cold, thereby allowing the car to move if the handbrake has been applied after a long drive.

Discs are far better at dissipating heat than drums though...going on that logic you'd have similar issues with both setups, but in reality it doesn't happen, there's always a 'pulling' force on the cable so if the disc did shrink away from the pad they'd still be being pulled into it.  The only real benefit of drums is their shape, they sort of pull the top of the shoe in towards the drum when the bottom hits it.  But that one pro really doesn't outweigh the disadvantages lol.

Rear drums are never correctly adjusted after a year or two out of the factory either, which affects the whole setup.  They always fill with water at the slightest puddle and are a bugger to break free, discs stick as well but they easily unstick.  Springs ping off changing pads or shoes so I wouldn't really count that against them.  But I get the same issue as Ghana...they have the whole carpark to fly into but always  end up in the small hedge around the edge!   And lets not forget they look stupid behind alloys as well, they're always a giveaway you've got an engine that's considerably lacking in power!