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The police recently arrested a man selling "secret formula" tablets he claimed gave eternal youth. When going through their files they noticed it was the fifth time he was caught for committing this

Awful scenes on Rhyl beach yesterday. It was totally disgusting behaviour. A man and woman arguing in front of a load of kids then she smacked him one on the head and it all kicked off between them. T

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"Armstrong," the boss said, "I happen to know that the reason you didn't come to work yesterday was that you were out playing golf."
"That's a rotten lie!" Armstrong protested. "And I have the fish to prove it!"

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Patrick O'Riley went to Dublin on a business trip. When the trip was over, he took a cab to get to the airport. The cab driver decided to have a little fun at the man's expense, so he asked, "My mother had three kids, one was my brother, one was my sister, who was the third?"

O'Riley had no idea. The driver replied, "The third one was ME!"

He went home to his wife and said to her, "Hey honey, here's a riddle for you. My mother had three kids, one was my brother, one was my sister, who was the third one?"

His wife was stumped and said, "I don't know, who?"

Patrick responded, "Believe it or not, some taxi driver in Dublin."

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Soon after being transferred to a new duty station, A Marine husband called home to tell his wife he would be late - again. He went on to say that dirty magazines had been discovered in the platoon's quarters and they had to discipline the whole squad. She launched into a tirade, arguing that many men had pictures hanging in their quarters at our previous post, so his new platoon should not be penalized for something trivial.
The husband calmly listened to my gripes and then explained, "Look they are our ammo, Dirty magazines: the clips from their rifles had not been cleaned."

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When he saw how astronomically high his latest phone bill was, the head of house called a family meeting.

“This is unacceptable,” said the father. ”You have to limit the use of the phone. I never use this phone. I always use the one in the office.”

The mother said, ”Same here. I hardly use the home phone, because I use my work phone.”

The son said, ”Me, too. I never use the home phone. I always use the company's mobile."

”So what's the problem?” asked the maid. ”We all use our work telephones.”

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1 hour ago, Rondy said:

When he saw how astronomically high his latest phone bill was, the head of house called a family meeting.

“This is unacceptable,” said the father. ”You have to limit the use of the phone. I never use this phone. I always use the one in the office.”

The mother said, ”Same here. I hardly use the home phone, because I use my work phone.”

The son said, ”Me, too. I never use the home phone. I always use the company's mobile."

”So what's the problem?” asked the maid. ”We all use our work telephones.”

😆

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I posted this about 12 hours ago on a local FB page, so far no one has commented etc which makes me think that no-one gets it, maybe I'm just old! 🤔

To me it's obvious but maybe it's just my weird sense of humour. 😀

imgonline-com-ua-twotoone-18n4son0FaSZ8p.jpg

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1 minute ago, Turvey said:

I posted this about 12 hours ago on a local FB page, so far no one has commented etc which makes me think that no-one gets it, maybe I'm just old! 🤔

To me it's obvious but maybe it's just my weird sense of humour. 😀

imgonline-com-ua-twotoone-18n4son0FaSZ8p.jpg

I thought Facebook was only for people above 45 now?  :whistling:  

But no, I don't know who they are which is probably going to make it difficult to understand. :laugh: 

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13 minutes ago, Turvey said:

I posted this about 12 hours ago on a local FB page, so far no one has commented etc which makes me think that no-one gets it, maybe I'm just old! 🤔

To me it's obvious but maybe it's just my weird sense of humour. 😀

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.....................    No, sorry I don't get it  🥴. You're going to have to help me out on this. I think the two guys are the motorcycle cops from the 70's TV show Chips, but no idea who the guy on the left is

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A plumber was called to a woman's apartment in London to repair a leaking pipe. When he arrived he was pleased to discover that the woman was quite a luscious, well-stacked babe, and during the course of the afternoon the two became extremely friendly.

About 5.30 p.m. the phone rang, disturbing their bedroom romp. "That was my husband," she said, "He's on his way home, but he's going back to the office around 8. Come back then, dear, and we can take up where we left off."

The plumber looked at the woman in disbelief. "What? On my own time?  No way."

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3 minutes ago, unofix said:

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.....................    No, sorry I don't get it  🥴. You're going to have to help me out on this. I think the two guys are the motorcycle cops from the 70's TV show Chips, but no idea who the guy on the left is

If they're chips...maybe the guy on the left is 'Fish'? :g:

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56 minutes ago, Rondy said:

A plumber was called to a woman's apartment in London to repair a leaking pipe. When he arrived he was pleased to discover that the woman was quite a luscious, well-stacked babe, and during the course of the afternoon the two became extremely friendly.

About 5.30 p.m. the phone rang, disturbing their bedroom romp. "That was my husband," she said, "He's on his way home, but he's going back to the office around 8. Come back then, dear, and we can take up where we left off."

The plumber looked at the woman in disbelief. "What? On my own time?  No way."

haha 😂

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17 minutes ago, Turvey said:

What about this one then? 😀

imgonline-com-ua-twotoone-MgniAHGaCUkMO.jpg

Bread on the left but I don't know the name of the other.....I feel I should do as I recognise them but can't put a name to em at all.

I could have a guess....Sticks,  knife, butter,bin 🤣

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