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Rondy
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38 minutes ago, Marty... said:

bread and Jam...I used to work for the jam...roadie

I was a roadie for Texas........for one day 😀

 

When I say roadie I mean a hired hand to help carry/push the gear in in the morning and back out after the gig. Don't know how you could do it day in day out, long days, hard work. But thank God there are folk that do. 🤘

Must admit I like watching them take down and set up between warm up and the main event 👍

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1 hour ago, Marty... said:

two other bands also...blondie and motorhead

Wild days back then

Now I'm TOTALLY jealous! Motorhead was one of my favourite bands (mainly because no-one else liked them) when I was growing up. Gutted I never got a chance to see them 😞

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A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?" The man replied, "My wife is going to poison me." 
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?" The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's going to poison me. What should I do?" 
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know." 
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "I spoke to your wife on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"
The man said, "Yes" and the Rabbi replied, "Take the poison."

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51 minutes ago, Rondy said:

A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?" The man replied, "My wife is going to poison me." 
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?" The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's going to poison me. What should I do?" 
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know." 
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "I spoke to your wife on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"
The man said, "Yes" and the Rabbi replied, "Take the poison."

Lol 👍

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Your honour, I am 75 years old. So here I am, sitting there on my porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sits beside me. 
He starts to rub my thigh, and it feels good, Your Honour. So I don't stop him, and he begins to rub my old *****, Your Honour. Why, Your Honour, I haven't felt that good in years! So I just spread my old legs and say to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!"
That's when he yelled, "April Fool" and that's when I shot the damn bugger."

 

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A hot day In the jungle, all the animals suddenly started running and screaming:

-Oh my god the lion is after us, it is going to eat us alive!!!

The rabbit was lying down blithesome with a flower in his mouth...

Animals running through his place, screaming...suddenly an antilope asked the rabbit quickly:

-What are you doing here lying down with no fear at all, are you crazy?Lion is going after us all!!!

And the rubbit real calm:

-I am waitting right here to teach it a lesson!!!

I am going to rip his a@s!!!

And the antilope:

-Are you f@@@@@g  crazy?It is going to tear you apart, stand up and run!!!!

Suddenly the lion appears...

With great puzzlement in it's face, lion asks rabbit:

-Rabbit? Are you going to run with the other animals?

What the f@@k are you doing here lying down blithesome disdaining me?

And the rabbit:

-Just saying bullshit trying to make the animals laugh!!!

(Such a crap ha?)

 

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Greek fact of life...

4 years old: My dad is capable of everything!!!
7 years old: My dad knows so many things!!!
8 years old: My dad is not such a knower by the way...
12 years old: My dad knows no ***** at all...
14 years old: My father???Naaaaaa....
21 years old: Oh no , not him again in front of me...makes me feel emparasement...
25 years old: My father might know something about it but not so much...
30 years old: I really should ask my father his opinion about that matter!!!!
35 years old: Before taking our desicion about that matter, let's ask father first!!!!
50 years old: What would the father think about this?
60 years old: Finally my father have a lot of experience!!!!
65+ years old: Oh dear father!!!I wish you was alive to see you and be together talking for a last time!!!!

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I've never understood why women love cats.

Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, come home and expect to be fed and stroked, then want to be left alone and sleep.
In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
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1 hour ago, Rondy said:

I've never understood why women love cats.

Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, come home and expect to be fed and stroked, then want to be left alone and sleep.
In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

You're choosing the wrong women to begin with.

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One day St. Peter saw a gang of football supporters walking up to the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter ran to God and said, "God, there are some Liverpool FC supporters at the Gates. What do I do?"
God relied, "Just do what you normally do with that type. Redirect them."
St. Peter went back to carry out the order, but he suddenly came running back and yelling, "God, God, they're gone! They're gone!"
"Them football supporters?"
"No, the Pearly Gates!"

 

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36 minutes ago, Rondy said:


One day St. Peter saw a gang of football supporters walking up to the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter ran to God and said, "God, there are some Liverpool FC supporters at the Gates. What do I do?"
God relied, "Just do what you normally do with that type. Redirect them."
St. Peter went back to carry out the order, but he suddenly came running back and yelling, "God, God, they're gone! They're gone!"
"Them football supporters?"
"No, the Pearly Gates!"

 

Lol 😂

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Subject: Unfaithfull Wife!!!


A woman takes a lover during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them
and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home.
She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that
the little boy is in there already.
 

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,
"How much?"

Boy- "$750"

Man - "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and let's have a game of catch."
 

The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."


The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy -"$1,000"

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
 

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
 

The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that ***** again".

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