Stoney871 Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 I am a woman and am finding this highly amusing!! :-) My goodness a woman that can see the funny side of moaning men. LOL Glad that you're not offended Rebecca, men aren't truly happy unless they're moaning about something. If we stopped moaning then it would mean we don't care. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lenny Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 I am a woman and am finding this highly amusing!! :-) Hi, its nice to see that we can keep atleast one of you happy! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stoney871 Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 Hi, its nice to see that we can keep atleast one of you happy! :D "Ducking and running for cover" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fordieashx Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 If we stopped moaning then it would mean we don't care. ;) That's true! Keep on moaning... but not too much :) haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bex78 Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 I find it funny because it's true ha,ha!! You men love moaning about women drivers..but some of us can drive just as good as you ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeebowhite Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 To be fair, your right Bex, but equally, some woman suck as much as, if not worse than men. Stoney... How much would it cost for me to take an advanced pursuit level one course? I would LOVE to do that, 1) for my own benefit 2) so that if I was ever caught speeding I could use that as an excuse why its safe 3) so that I could tell the wife that if she doesnt like my driving, she should complaint to the local police commissioner... :P That might give me a little peace! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stoney871 Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 I find it funny because it's true ha,ha!! You men love moaning about women drivers..but some of us can drive just as good as you ;-) Statistically, female drivers are seen by insurance companies to be safer behind the wheel. I reserve the right not to incriminate myself by disclosing my personal opinion. I do see a lot of bad drivers on the road in the course of my duty and will just say that some people do stupid things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Preee Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 My wife has never even got near to breaking the speed limit , if fact i think her driving is dangerous to other road users , After 19 years of driving she still can't reverse into a parking space (hence reversing sensors fitted to mine) , She constantly will not be quiet and has to hold a full conversation to who ever is in the car , 2 years ago going up our road she pulled over to be polite (narrow road) and put a hugh dent int the roof bar , claiming it was not her !! , bearing in mind i had washed and waxed it prior to her taking it out , on her return was the dent " It was not me " ! Inspector Preee CSI found the ofending branch with silver paint. So my opiniion is not about female drivers generally , but my wife is another topic. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bex78 Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Fair comments guys,please post more stories about your nagging women- it made my day x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stoney871 Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Fair comments guys,please post more stories about your nagging women- it made my day x My wife does not nag, she merely informs me of my failings and the best way to address them. <_< Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeebowhite Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 My wife never nags, as nagging is defined as: "Annoy or irritate (a person) with persistent faultfinding or continuous urging" she could never possibly irritate me, and she cant fault find, because I am perfect, she doesnt urge, she demands... now that I have awakened from my dream... My wife is "always right" she "always knows best" and always sees a "better way to complete something"... now if she drove, that would be wonderful, but I do love it when our beloved nearest and dearest like to faultfind when they dont drive, or they dont fully understand the situation :P I love my wife dearly, but she really can drive me crackers when she criticises me because I am focusing on my driving and miss something she points out, or also if I set the sat nav up to go to our destination, when she has printed out a set of directions from google, and my sat nav deviates from googles route... she loves me when that happens... silence does soon ensue with comments such as "why do I bother going to the effort" when sometimes I want to reply "I didnt pay £130 for a tomtom so that I could use google, which spends more time in the wrong than I do..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stoney871 Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 One word from me and my wife does exactly what she wants. I sometimes feel she does the exact opposite of what i advise just to be a pain. There is a slightly sexist joke - i truly apologise to all the female members here - no offence is implied or intended. What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing - she's been told twice already. Very very sorry ladies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Preee Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 The true meanings to those little words women say :) Fine This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. Five Minutes If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. Nothing This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine". Go Ahead This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT! Loud Sigh Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing". That's Okay This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. Thanks This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you, do not question it. Just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly. PART 2 What a woman says, what she really means… I need = I want We need = I want It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this later <---this is so true! We need to talk = I need to complain （Anyone who has seen the movie, Breakin’ All the Rules（Jamie Foxx , 2004）must remember We need to talk = Break up） Sure…go ahead = I don’t want you to I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron! You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot You’re certainly attentive tonight = Is s*x all you ever think about? I’m not emotional! And I’m not overreacting! = I have a severe case of PMS （PMS = Premenstrual Syndrome） Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house I want new curtains = I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper… I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really going to hate I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V. （This usually means you have to wait longer enough, so be patient） Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me Are you listening to me? = Too late, you’re dead Yes = No No = No Maybe = No I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry I was wrong = Not as wrong as you Do you like this recipe? = It’s easy to fix, so you’d better get used to it Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep I’m not yelling! = Of course I’m yelling, this is important! What a man says, what he really means… I’m hungry = I’m hungry I’m tired = I’m tired Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d eventually like to have s*x with you Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d eventually like to have s*x with you Would you like to dance? = I’d eventually like to have s*x with you Can I call you sometime? = I’d eventually like to have s*x with you Nice dress! = Nice cleavage! You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you What’s wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psycho trauma are you going through now? You look upset = I guess s*x tonight is out of the question Yes, I love your new hairstyle = I liked it better before Yes, your haircut looks good = $50 and it doesn’t even look different! I like the first dress you tried on better = Pick any freakin’ dress and let’s go! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bex78 Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Oh guys I think you know everything there is to know about us women!! You really should read these posts to your wives(only if they've got a sense of humour!!) I only came across this site as I was sat in the car for a whole hour looking for help on the Internet about taking my radio out..not once did my other half come looking for me!!maybe he was enjoying the peace and quiet?glad I found this site though as it makes me smile reading your stories :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lenny Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 The true meanings to those little words women say :) Fine This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. Nothing This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine". Go Ahead This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT! Loud Sigh Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing". thanks pree, your guide will help me survive the weekends in the house lol im so glad valentines day was on a work day, because i didnt have to suffer the silent treatment for the whole day, i had work to go to lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ONETrueSaturday Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Thats the best one Preee, 'I'm fine' when clearly, they are not lol <_< Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
focuscolin Posted February 15, 2012 Share Posted February 15, 2012 This topic has made me smile ,I'm not alone Lol I love my wife but she is the slowest driver in the world when I had my astra turbo she would race everything off the lights any boy racer she would look over and say to be I'm going to smoke him Lol but she moans at me for buying the astra because it cost to much to run to insure the tyres cost to much the seat didn't go hi enough ( you never buy me anything your always broke blah blah blah) so i got rid if the astra and bought the focus ,cheep to run low tax cheep to insure I'm saveing like 50 quid a week great I'd think more money in my sky rocket to spend on my lady but ow no I'm gettin it in the neck now because the focus is to slow it looks like an old man's car It's to big ?????? It makes a funny noise IT'S. A DIESEL.... I don't like the colour ( its black the same colour as the astra ) why did you sell the astra I liked that aaahhhhh.mm I can't win Lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fordieashx Posted February 15, 2012 Share Posted February 15, 2012 Preee you missed another vital one... I have nothing to wear! (whilst we stand infront of our packed wardrobes) = we need to go shopping = buy me clothes! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Preee Posted February 15, 2012 Share Posted February 15, 2012 Preee you missed another vital one... I have nothing to wear! (whilst we stand infront of our packed wardrobes) = we need to go shopping = buy me clothes! :D Haha so true , but i'm a kind sole so i just say off you go then just don't expect me to spend vital car time in a clothes shop lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
btmaldon Posted February 15, 2012 Share Posted February 15, 2012 Being the romantic soul I am, I thought I would earn some brownie points this Valentines and bought the missus a new bag and a belt. Well there was no pleasing her was there. You think you are doing your best. At least the hoover is working great now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeebowhite Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 lmfao! brilliabnt, nicely done bt :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darren T Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I was badly crushed by a women driver back in 1990, I was putting a spare wheel away in my mk2 escort estate when a women lost control of her mini ( the police estimated her speed at 50 in a 30 limit) and she ploughed into me. Crushing me between her mini and my car. So yeah !Removed! women :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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