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Rondy

True Ford Enthusiast
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Rondy last won the day on February 17

Rondy had the most liked content!

Profile Information

  • First Name
    Ron
  • Ford Model
    Fiesta Activ X
  • Ford Year
    2021
  • UK/Ireland Location
    Wrexham

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Rondy's Achievements

  1. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    A Liverpool man walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the counter and said 'Hi, I'm looking for a job'. The man behind the counter replied 'Your timing is amazing. We've just got One in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his Nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes and wear the uniform provided. The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on their Overseas holidays. The Salary package is £200,000 a year'. The Scouser says 'You're having me on!' The man behind the counter said 'Well you started it!'
  2. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    Do you ever worry about the NHS at all? You should - These are sentences actually typed by Medical secretaries in NHS Greater Glasgow 1. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital. 3. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. 4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared. 7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. 8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. 9. Discharge status:- Alive, but without my permission. 10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful. 11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 12. She is numb from her toes down. 13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home. 14. The skin was moist and dry. 15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. 16. Patient was alert and unresponsive. 17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. 18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce. 19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy. 20. Both ***** are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. 21 Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. 22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. 23. Skin: somewhat pale, but present. 24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. 25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall. 26. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities . 27. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room. 28. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed. 29. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant. 30. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December. 31. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree. 32. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead. 33. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
  3. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    A Texan walks into a pub in Scotland and clears his throat to the crowd of drinkers. He says: "I hear you Scots are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give £500 to anybody in here who can drink 10 shots of Scotch back-to-back." The room is quiet, and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?" asks the Scotsman. The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 shots of Dewars Scotch. Immediately the scotsman tears into all 10 of the shot glasses, drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Scotsman the £500 and says: "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?" The Scotsman replies: "Oh... I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."
  4. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    A man staggers into Accident and Emergency with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife," he tells the doctor, "when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows". "We went to look for it, and I noticed one of the cows had something white in its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball stuck right in the cow's bum. That's when I made my mistake." "What did you do?" asks the doctor. "Well, as I was standing there holding up the tail, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"
  5. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    What's all this nonsense about that 66-year-old Romanian woman being the world's oldest mum? So what? My mum's 97. ________ The saying goes, 'See a penny, pick it up, and all day long you'll have good luck.' Well I beg to differ. I'm a matador, and whilst picking a penny up at work the other day I was badly gored in the *****. That's not good luck in my book. ________ Last week I attended an AA meeting, and to my horror, each person present stood up and openly admitted to being an alcoholic. I'm not having these boastful drunkards repairing my car. I can only hope the RAC have more responsible employees. ________ ' Alton Towers - Where the magic never ends', or so the commercial says. Imagine my disappointment when it closed at 7.30. ________
  6. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    A primary teacher starts a new job at a school on Mersyside and, trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she is a Liverpool fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Liverpool fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand expect one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Liverpool fan," she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked: "Well if your not a Liverpool fan, then who are you a fan of?" "I'm a Manchester City fan, and proud of it," Mary replied. The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why, pray tell, are you a City fan?" "Because my mum and dad are from Manchester, and my mum is a City fan and my dad is a City fan, so I'm a City fan too!" "Well," said the teacher, in a obviously annoyed tone, "that's no reason for you to be a City fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and you dad was a drug dealer and car thief, what what you be then?" "Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be a Liverpool fan."
  7. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    A teenage girl come home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me?" "What's that?" asks her mother. "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their willies?" said her daughter. "Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter. "But then, when I have a baby," responded the teenager, "won't it knock my teeth out?"
  8. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    A bloke sees a job advert for an assistant farrier at the local blacksmith. He turns up for the interview and the boss asks him: "Have you ever shoed a horse before?" "I don't think so, says the bloke, but I once told a donkey to bugger off!"
  9. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    One evening Erik Ten Hag's phone rings. It's the fire brigade telling him Old Trafford is on fire. "The Cups" shouts Hag. "Save the cups" "Don't worry sir" says the fireman " The flames haven't got to the canteen yet"
  10. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site when a slate falls down slicing off Paddy's ear. Murphy finds it and says to Paddy "is this yours Paddy"? "No" says Paddy, "mine has a pencil behind it." ___________ Paddy is doing some roofing jobs for Murphy He nears the top of the roof and starts shouting down to Murphy "I tink I will 'ave to go home, I've gone all dizzy". Murphy asks "'ave yer got vertigo, Paddy"? Paddy replies "No, I only live round the corner." ___________
  11. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    It was John's turn to drive carpool into town on a day when a new member was traveling along for the first time. As they rode along he began to be suspicious of his new carpooling passenger. John checked to see if his wallet was safe in the pocket of his coat that was on the seat between them, but it wasn't there. He immediately slammed on the brakes, ordered the fellow out, and said, "Hand over the wallet!" The frightened carpooler handed over a wallet, before John drove off, leaving him alone at the side of the road. When he arrived home that evening, he started to tell his wife about the experience. Just as he started to recount the whole story, she interrupted him, saying, "Oh, that reminds me, John. Do you know that you left your wallet at home this morning?"
  12. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    A man runs into a pet shop and puts a bomb on the counter. 'You have 60 seconds to get out' he says as he runs for the door. "Oh bugger" yells a Tortoise from the back of the shop.
  13. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    I went to a restaurant. It was full. There was no place to sit and the wait was over thirty minutes. I took out my mobile phone, placed it to my ear, and said loudly, "Hey, get over here! She's here with someone else!" Six couples got up and quickly left quickly.
  14. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    Two Scots, Archie and Jock are discussing Jocks wedding. "Ach it's all going well, I've got everything organised, I've even bought a kilt to be married in." Archie says, "That's braw, what's the tartan?" Jock says, "I'd imagine she'll be in white"
  15. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my right and there was a Woman in a brand new BMW doing 75Mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner ! I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, and still working on that makeup ! As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the meat pie out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned 'Big Jim and the Twins', it ruined the phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call. BL00DY women drivers !!
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