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Rondy

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Rondy last won the day on August 5

Rondy had the most liked content!

Profile Information

  • First Name
    Ron
  • Ford Model
    Fiesta Activ X
  • Ford Year
    2021
  • UK/Ireland Location
    Wrexham

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Rondy's Achievements

  1. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    Two parents take their son on holiday and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mum and says..."Mummy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!" The mum says..."the bigger they are, the thicker they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says..."Mummy, I saw men with willies a lot bigger than daddy's!" The mum says..."the bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says..."Mummy, I just saw daddy talking to the thickest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"
  2. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    "I'm ashamed of you," the mother said. "Fighting with your best friend is a terrible thing to do!" "He threw a rock at me!" the boy said. "So I threw one at him." The mother said, "When he threw a rock at you, you should have come to me." "Wow!! Thanks, Mum," the boy replied. "But my aim is much better than yours."
  3. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    Sidney was not having a good day on the golf course. After he missed a 12-inch putt, his partner asked him what the problem was. "It's the wife," said Sid. "As you know, she's taken up golf, and since she's been playing, she's cut my s*x down to once a week." "Well you should think yourself lucky," said his partner. "She's cut some of the guys in the clubhouse out altogether!"
  4. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    A man and his wife were having an argument in bed. He finally jumped up and took a blanket to the couch. The next day the wife feeling bad about what happened decided to buy her husband a gift, and since he was an avid golfer she went to the pro shop where he usually played golf. She talked with the pro and he suggested a putter and he showed her one of his finest. "How much is it?" she asked. "One hundred and fifty pounds," he replied. She felt that was kind of expensive and told him so. "But it comes with an inscription," he said. "What kind of inscription?" she asked. "Whatever you wish," he explained, "but one of the old golfers favourites is, 'NEVER UP, NEVER IN." "Oh, that will never do!" exclaimed the wife. "That's what started the argument in the first place!"
  5. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    Fu, Bu, and Chu immigrated to the UK from China. They decided to make their names sound more British. Bu called himself "Buck." Chu called himself "Chuck." But Fu had to go back to China.
  6. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    Q. Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night on their honeymoon waiting for their sexual relations to arrive?
  7. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    The guy at SCS said the sofa would seat 5 people without any problems. Then I realised I don't know 5 people without any problems!
  8. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    "Push harder!" I shouted at my wife while she was in labour. "I hate you, I hate you more than I've ever hated anyone!" she screamed back at me. Bit harsh I thought… it wasn't my fault the car broke down on the way to the hospital.
  9. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    Customer: "Do you have any cockroaches?" Clerk: "Yes we sell them to the fishermen." Customer: " I would like 20,000 of them." Clerk: "What would you want with 20,000 cockroaches?" Customer: "I'm moving tomorrow and my landlords lease says I must leave my apartment in the condition in which I found it."
  10. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    Wanda's dishwasher breaks down so she calls a repairman. Since she has to go to work the next day, she tells him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll send you a cheque." "Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, talk to my parrot! I mean it. Don't talk to my parrot." "When the repairman arrives at Wanda's house the following day, he discovers the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lies there on the carpet watching him go about his work. The parrot, however, drives him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman can't contain himself any longer and yells: "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!" To which the parrot replies: "Get him, Spike!"
  11. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy, a rather rare occurrence in Israel, to say the least. After examining it, he called Abe, the curator of the Israel museum in Jerusalem. "I've just discovered a 3,000 year old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed. Abe replied, "Bring him in. We'll check it out." A week later, the amazed Abe called the archaeologist. "You were right about both the mummy's age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?" "Easy. There was a piece of paper in his hand that said, 'I'll have 10,000 Shekels on Goliath'."
  12. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    My god! What happened to you?" the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast. "I got in a tiff with Riley." "Riley? He's just a wee fellow," the barkeep said, surprised. "He must have had something in his hand." "That he did," Kelly said. "A shovel it was." "Dear Lord. Didn't you have anything in your hand?" "Aye, that I did, Mrs. Riley's right breast," Kelly said. "And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight."
  13. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    Why Helicopters are Better than Women 1. A helicopter will kill you quickly . . . a woman takes her time. 2. Helicopters can be turned on by a flick of a switch. 3. A helicopter does not get mad if you 'touch and go.' 4. A helicopter does not object to a preflight inspection. 5. Helicopters come with manuals. 6. Helicopters have strict weight and balance limits. 7. You can fly a helicopter any time of the month. 8. Helicopters don't come with in-laws. 9. Helicopters don't whine unless something is really wrong. 10. Helicopters don't care about how many other helicopters you have flown. 11. When flying, you and your helicopter both arrive at the same time. 12. Helicopters don't mind if you look at other helicopters, or if you buy helicopter magazines.
  14. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt. After observing this behaviour for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant. "It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out." "That's very sensible, sir." At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon. The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned and said, "Get me my brown pants."
  15. Rondy

    Have a laugh

    A Polish man moved to London and married an English girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him - "very quick." The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions: LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?" POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home." LAWYER: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?" POLE: "It made of concrete." LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?" POLE: "No, we have carport, and not need one." LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?" POLE: "All my relations still in Poland." LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?" POLE: "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player." LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?" POLE: "No, I always up before her." LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?" POLE: "No, she white." LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?" POLE: "She going to kill me." LAWYER: "What makes you think that?" POLE: "I got proof. LAWYER: "What kind of proof?" POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover'."
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