dodgy-alan

Announced on the radio earlier, Cars on the westbound M4 are encountering problems caused by a load of thick yellow/green slime on the carriageway, apparently it's all down to heavy congestion!

Currently on long term disability due to a hospital screw up which left me with a useless left hand and angina that's worse than ever. I used to be a coach driver and many years ago served in the Merchant Navy.

Merry Christmas one and all I'm wishing you a Blesséd Yule with wine and food and lots of beer warming you with Solstice cheer So have a party Have a Jive What e'er you do Don't drink and drive!

Go to Google Home page, Type in ,"Where is Chuck Norris?" click on the first awnser........and enjoy! Chuck Norris threw a grenade into a bar....killed 50 people..........then the grenade went off! When the Bogeyman goes to bed at night, He checks in the closet to make sure Chuck Norris isn't hiding there! Scientists have worked out why the universe is still expanding, In the Beginning Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it....and it's been running away ever since!

I know Aston Martin is/was part of the Ford empire, but does anyone else think that the new Mondeo and Fiesta look more like Astons than Fords!!

This vehicle is a Ford Thames Trader Mk1, they were built by Fords British Factories between 1957 and 1965. the Mk2 version is distinguished by having the word Trader in white letters between the headlights unlike this one with the name on the edge of the bonnet. They were the predecessor of the famous D series trucks and were built at Dagenham. They were mainly built in the 1-7 ton class but larger ones were built for specialist roles. Many were built with a low chassis for removal van use. They also appeared as tractor units for articulated vehicles. This particular one is based at Goodwood Airfield in West Sussex where I took these photos last week. hope you like them.......

Or The Bonzo Dog Doodah band !! (those of a certain age will remember them!) He wasnt saying much as his voice was a little huskie!! I asked him what was wrong and he said he just felt Ruff!

Hence the topic title Jenny ! ;)

Thats what I thought too Stoney, they really are good companions, Hopeless at reading a map though when you need to get somewhere in a hurry, and even worse at diving into a takeaway for a couple of coffees when you're on a night patrol! But I loved the feeling of security you get when you're patrolling some of the dark and dingy corners of London or the big trading estates.

That Pink Fiat seems to be a mainstream model colour as well, there are 3 of them round here in Bognor. I thought it was a blancmange on wheels ! :D

Many years ago I once had the pleasure of pulling a Panda car over for speeding! I had been going through Hounslow West at a tad over the speed limit in my Marina TC when a local plods pulled me at the traffic lights. He told me to pull in across the lights which I duly did and he then came to the car an gave me a stern talking to about the errors of speeding. I was suitably apologetic and we left it at that. He went back to his car and shot off like a scalded cat ! I followed him and at 40MPH he was still pulling away, (the limit was and still is 30 in the town centre), Well at that time I had a CB Radio in my car and part of it's kit was synthesiser siren with about 30 different modulations on it, At the time the Police were still using the familiar two tone siren so I switched mine to the now widely used American police style and gave him aquick burst while flashing my headlights. The effect was extroardinary, he braked sharply and pulled to the side of the road. I pulled in behind him and this time I walked up to HIS car. He looked up at me somewhat bemused as I asked him what speed he was doing as I thought my speedo must be faulty! He asked why I thought that so I said that mine was showing 30MPH but I couldnt keep up with him ! I couldnt see any blue lights flashing so I KNEW he wasnt on an emergency and of course being a POLICE officer he would NEVER break the speed limit! Would he? His face was a picture, His reply was sort of ,Oh err, yes well, umm, Ok Fair enough, He then grinned and asked where I'd got the siren from and we got onto talking about CB Radios which had just been legalised ! I didnt mention that the synthesiser could also EXACTLY replicate the UK police sirens as well as the American ones! He finally said "Well we have both learned something today havent we? " After that whenever we saw each other on the road we'd pass with a cheery wave and a flash of headlights! Over time we became good freinds but we lost touch when he was posted to another district of London. I often wondered what happened to him.

Many years ago I was a dog handler in London working for a securtiy firm. We had 3 german Sheperds. One was a white female, she looked gorgeous and loved everyone. Totally useless as a guard dog as if she caught someone sh'ed more likely lick 'em to death. the two male dogs seemed to love her too and she happily produced a litter of new guard dogs every year ! the two male dogs were Shane and Sammy. Shane was very efficient and no-one messed with him. He was very protective of the team and didnt miss a trick. The last one was Sammy, He was a big imposing looking animal and again he would protect his handlers in every possible way. One night I was parked up at Lancaster Gate near Marble Arch and one of the local "Toms" (Hookers to the unniniated) wandered up to the van, She asked If I fancied some "Business". I said that I'd be interested but I think my partner may object! She asked what partner and went to look deeper into the van, big mistake, Sammy suddenly shot forward from behind me and his jaws snapped shut an inch from her face ! She backed out screaming and literally peed herself where she stood ! Ive never seen anyone run so fast in high heels! Sammy had a nother party trick which made him look really cool. We had Fiesta Patrol vans and a lot of our work involved patrolling the big carparks around the West End of London. What Sammy used to do was sit on the roof of the van as we chugged around the car parks numerous nooks and crannies. If he spotted anything supicious he was off like a shot leaving his handler to run after him ! He seemed to hate the well heeled for some reason and whenever he decided to !Removed! his leg you could guarantee it would be against a very expensive upmarket car ! He was everyones favourite partner and it was always a pleasure to work with him. Our dogs were unusual inasmuch they never actuall had one partner nor went home with anyone, There were 9 moblie guards in the company and the dogs were trained to work with any one of us. We never had any problems and It all seemed to work well. Eventually I had to leave the company though as they moved to an office in Kent well away from where I lived and I was not prepared to travel the distance involved.

I was up at Halfords in Ringwood earlier and was reversing out of my parking space. I thought the guy in the Ford Mondeo was just waiting for me to move, that was until I spotted the "driver!" I had to do a double take to make sure! seems he had left his car in the middle of the parking lot and gone off to do his shopping leaving Mutley to park the car !!

Sold our beloved Fiesta today, sad to see her go but she did us proud and she went back to the dealer we bought it from originally. Picked up the replacement car this afternoon. It's not a Ford though it does have an oval badge on the front!!