Went out to my car yesterday morning to find the wipers on, meaning my ignition had been on all night draining the battery. (No key in ofc, ignition just seems to be on all the time?)

Car wouldn't start. Tried charging it with 2 different battery chargers and it doesn't seem to hold charge / maybe the ignition issue is simultaneously draining the battery. 

Anyone seen issues like this before? Had this car for 5 months with no issues, it is Cat D but doesn't explain this random issue.

Need to know what to ask for to get a mechanics quote, as the men in my life have all had a look and not managed to fix it!

 

Hi there.
It could be that the switch inside the ignition barrel is faulty (when you insert the key, a pin is pushed into the switch which then activates the electrics and ignition when you turn the key).
This would mean that you might think the electrics are off but they aren't as an ignition switch has 3 positions (off, electrics on and ignition). 
If you have recovery or a local mechanic, ask them to take a look at the ignition barrel switch.
It can usually be swapped over in about 15-30 minutes so labour should be cheap and a new barrel shouldn't be too expensive.