My wife's car has stood idle for the duration of our holiday.

When we tried to start it there was absolutely no power. Odd clicks and flickering instrument lights, but nothing else.

Put the battery on charge. Charger said "Charging". After 5 minutes (or less - we weren't looking all the time), charger said "Battery Full". Removed charger (two croc clips) and tried to start car. Started beautifully. Halfords help line man assured me that their charger would take up to 12 hours to get from flat to full battery. What's happening?

UP TO being the operative words - maybe the battery wasn't completely flat

Monitor the battery operation over the next week or so, as it may be on it's way out

Sorry - should have said that the battery is new(ish).

The car is 8 years old and has done 8,000 miles (as roughly 120 sixty-mile round journeys), so not short battery-draining hops. My conclusion is that the battery is perfectly OK.

i would get the battery checked as it's gonna get worse when winter arrives. just because the battery is new ish they can fail any time

Doesnt take much of a charge to get it up to allowing one or more turnovers.

Also depends on whether you have it on fast charge or normal.

Be aware fast charge wears your battery out due to the higher current.

I have had more than my fair share of battery woes - i had a complete dud battery i thought was good on my old ROVER 820Si until i broke down on a lonely country road miles from anywhere and left the headlamps on for a few minutes.

5 mins on the charger and the car would start but then its the alternator thats keeping it going so it lures you into a false sense of security that the car keeps running ok - good way to check it is to put the engine off and leave the main headlamps on for about 5 mins - if the car wont start you have a dud battery thats how i found out (ON THAT LONELY COUNTRY ROAD) LOL until i bought myself a load tester - £30 on ebay and will save you money in the long run!

Thanks for your interest and suggestions.

I wondered if it was voltage drop due to dirty battery connections, so I removed the leads, cleaned the terminals, applied Vaseline and hey presto, the problem appears to be solved. The car has stood a week without use and started first go.

Lol yes its always the simplest of issues - we sometimes jump to conclusions and dont check the basics first.

I usually give the terminals on my batteries a sand down with a file to get right into the lead and leave it shiny as the lead

will react with the hcl in the battery producing lead chloride (green gunk on the terminals) and react with the battery leads producing

iron chloride and phosphate , copper sulphate etc - Always essential to keep your terminals clean!

Halfrauds and helpline are kinda paradoxical.

lol