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Friday Jokes


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A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six

double vodka."

The barman says "Wow! you must have had one really bad day."

"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is !Removed!."

The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same


When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came


"I've just found out that my younger brother is !Removed! too!"

On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six

double vodkas.

The bartender said "WOW! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

"Yeah, my wife..."

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I bought a new fridge and to get rid of the old, I put it on my front lawn and hung a sign : "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. I changed the sign to read : "Fridge for sale £50." The next day it was stolen.

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Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior was that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there was a knock at the door. "Who is it?" called one of the nuns.

"Blind man," replied a voice from the other side of the door. The two nuns look at each other and shrug, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room; they open the door.

"Nice !Removed!," said the man. "Where do you want these venetian blinds to be hung?"

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  • 2 years later...

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