Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman are returning from a foreign holiday when they all realise they have forgotten to buy their wives a gift.

They run to the shops and meet up an hour later to compare gifts-

Englishman- Ive bought my wife a diamond ring and a pair of gloves, if she doesn't like the ring she can wear the gloves instead.

Irishman- Ive bought my wife a necklace and a scarf, if she doesn't like the necklace she can wear the scarf instead.

Scotsman- Ive bought my wife a box of chocolates and a vibrator, if she doesn't like the chocolates she can go and f### herself.

Engineering related joke, 'cause I'm an Engineer.

Three Engineers, one from Microsoft, one from Apple and one from Google, are in the toilet.

After finishing, the Microsoft Engineer washes his hands and then proceeds to dry his hands, using up almost half the packet of paper towels in the process. "At Microsoft, we're told to be extremely thorough, and get the job done no matter what it takes".

The Apple Engineer washes his hands and dries his, but uses only a single sheet of paper towel. "At Apple, we're told to be thorough too, but also extremely efficient."

The Google Engineer leaves the urinal and heads straight for the door saying "At Google, we don't !Removed! on our hands".

Liking the engineer laughs! lol