Lady says to her husband ' will you go out and buy something that makes me look hot and sexy'

 

 

wait

 

 

so he went and bought a crate of larger.

 

good one

Here's another one:  

Lad lives in the country, his other half lives in the city, one day he goes and picks her up and takes her for a ride in the country, anyway later on through the drive they see 2 cows doing it, she ask's " oh what are those 2 cows doing" the bloke says "having fish & chips" "ah ok fair enough" so they carry on... Later on they see 2 horses doing it, she asks the same question to get the same answer, so they carry on.. Anyway eventually they see 2 sheep doing it and she asks the same question again and the bloke says, "having fish & chips, do you want some??" so the women says yes and they get jiggy with it, later on he drops her off back at home and the girls mum says, what have you been doing today, and the girl says, " we had fish and chips" the mum says" you could of brought me some back" and the girl, spreads her legs & says " here you can lick the platter if you want.  Da dum dum tsss

3 prostitutes of the same family,grand mother,mother and daughter,

daughter charges 80 quid for a BJ.

mother charges   40 quid

grandmother is just glad of a warm drink.

Husband says to wife "what do you want for Christmas this year?"

"A divorce" she replies.

"I wasn't planning on spending that much".

13 minutes ago, Leezer said:

Husband says to wife "what do you want for Christmas this year?"

"A divorce" she replies.

"I wasn't planning on spending that much".

nice one

good ones 

 

53 minutes ago, GMX said:

So true!