What is the best excuse you have made or heard of to try and get out of a speeding ticket?

Sir Alex Ferguson - "I have diaorrhea and needed to do 135MPH on the hard shoulder in heavy traffic to get to the toilet..."

I personally havent been caught speeding, but thats because I'm good ;) lol

"the speedo goes to 140 officer, but I could only get 127 out of it" lol

"I was matching my speedo with the sat nav and as I reached 100 there was a 10mph difference, I lost track on which one to watch." lol

btw these are doing my post count a world of good lol

I got one many years ago through the post (doing 92 on the m/way), I sent it back and asked them "next time take the photo when I'm smiling." lol

Got another one in Scotland also a few years back,(42 in a 30 zone) a mate that was with me said "watch for the camaras along here" me thinking he ment the fixed ones just carried on, two seconds later I got pulled over Grrrrrr, by two bobbies holding the camara at 5.30 in the morning lol.

And another (bet your sorry you put this post up now Steve) I was doing 72 in a wagon (no the limiter was'nt working) in a 50 zone at 4.30 in the morning, to my surprise I only got a slapped wrist for that one.

I got one many years ago through the post (doing 92 on the m/way), I sent it back and asked them "next time take the photo when I'm smiling." lol

lmao. did you get a reply?

LOL

lmao. did you get a reply?

yeh 6 points and I carnt remember how much they stung me for, gits.

my personal favourite, picture just being pulled by a police officer on the motorway for speeding or any other offence.

police says "sir, do you know why i pulled you over?"

you turn to your passenger and say in a patronising voice "awwww, he's forgotten already!"

personally i have never tried that, but i probably will if its a copper i know

Who was it that said they got sent a photo of them speeding, so they sent back a photo of their cheque for the fine...

This one wasn't for speeding, but I still love it. My Dad was in the RAF was 30 odd years as a fast jet pilot - he finished up as their chief examiner, examining the Red Arrows and being sent abroad to check other Air Forces were up to scratch - so really quite good at what he did.

He was out on the road and made an overtake going up a hill, I was in the passenger seat and knew that while it was tight, it certainly wasn't dangerous.

Next thing we know, flashing blues behind us, Dad gets pulled over. The Police Officer objected to the overtake saying it was reckless and dangerous. Dad laid it on proper thick about her flies at 7 miles a minute and could still drop a bomb in the right place yadayadayada

The guy not only let him off - he apologised and said he should have known better! It was almost like the moment in Star Wars where Ob Wan meets the Storm Troopers:

"These aren't the droids you're looking for....there was nothing wrong with my overtake..."

A good excuse for speeding is one that works. In that case I havent got any but having only been done twice in 30 odd years of driving havent really needed to.

I remember my mate being stopped in his Tickford Capri back in the early 80's. The car was going to attract attention due to the spoilers etc. The copper leaned through the window and asked if he was having trouble reaching take off speed.

There must be some excuses that work, BBC Look North said this: "Nearly 1000 motorists [still driving with a licence] in Yorkshire have more than 12 points on their licence. Many have more than 20. One has 28."

Some awesome excuses, let's hear of some more!

If I ever get pulled for speeding I will be very likely to mention that I had an accident at 15mph, and feel much safer at faster speeds, doing X0 MPH over the speed limit and I am very comfortable, never a problem, but 15mph on a roundabout, im in trouble. As a result my conclusion is that I am safer driving at speed...

it wasnt my fault i was speeding, it was the cars!

When I received the paper version of my driving license it said "Tear down dotted line".

So thats what I do.

haha like them both!

a good trick is to know someone at a garage, and aslong as it isnt massively over the speed limit, get them to write a receipt for a cruise control calibration, and then send that off. it should let you off.

I cant beleive my luck once, I had filled up at the petrol station went to pay and my card for some unknown reason would not work and i know i had more than enough money in my account. I left my driving licence at the petrol station, went home for some money and in a panick getting back I got pulled by the police for speeding, they advised I was doing at least 60 mph in the 30 mph zone (WHOOPS!!!!) I told her what had happened and that my licence was at the petrol station and amazingly I just got told to slow down, no points and not a slap on the wrist I couldnt beleive it!! I think she could see I was genuinly panicking haha

Probably she was a standard beat bobby, they cant prove your speed, nor can they hand out a penalty notice. A mate of mine was in a private car park (a pub where I used to work) and he decided to be a smart ar$e and do a handbreak turn into a parking space - not actually realising there was a blazened police car there. She gave him an ear bashing but confirmed as she was not a traffic officer, he should take this as a word of warning and behave himself.

I work with credit cards, and theres a number of reasons your card could have declined regardless of funds in the account, but as you say, leaving your license and details with them and you can go back and pay later, isnt a big deal - I think in most instances they will give you 7 days to return and pay for your fuel before they report you for a drive off... lol