Its Acceptable To Drive Like A Douche If The Traffic Is Barely Moving! (Apparently) - Rant!

[jeebowhite]

Just so you know, according to some fist that nearly crashed into me this evening, the above is perfectly true!

Going up a hill, we saw police cars, fire engines and traffic wombles flying up a dual carriageway. Now, moments before this I had a fist in a Citroen Picasso (newest shape) was flashing me out of the way so he could try and overtake, when all traffic on the motorway was at 55-60 in the outside lane. Then, when he got a chance, he decided that he would get much further by dangerously overtaking and then swinging in front of me (wouldnt have had a chance if I was in my own car, but as I was in the 'rental' from Ford...). Anyways, he got slown down to a crawl in the traffic.

By this point, no traffic announcements, no notice of whats going on just police, fire, and traffic wombles going by. I thought it must have been a bad accident to need 5 police cars... So I plod up the hill, first gear, 5mph. We get about a mile after about 20-30 minutes, and came in line with a slip road. There was a van and a car waiting to pull out, so I left them sufficient room, but not too much. All of a sudden, some pratt (another Citroen Driver (DS3?) came across me at about 75-80 degree angle, narrowly missing my front end! (again would have done it if I was in my car, but since I am driving a fiesta...). So I proceed to blur the horn at him!

He was blatantly driving like a fist, and decided to get out and start mouthing off at me. So I thought I would impart some of his wisdom onto you all.

1) Apparently its acceptable to cut people up at that angle "your not going anywhere anyway, so what are you whinging at" - so the moral is, you can drive like a douche if the traffic isn't moving.

2) My Passenger saw that he was driving quickly up to this point, saw he was there and was about to swing out, - Apparently, my passenger should now be my navigator and should advise me of such hazardous fists driving. And its all my fault because she didn't tell me... Moral of the story, everyone in the car should be the driver.

3) Apparently he was perfectly acceptable to be driving in this manner, cutting people up, swinging out across lanes into further oncoming traffic because he "knew that they would stop" - Moral of the story, everyone has the best reactions ever and no one ever has an accident (so if you have had an accident, then your clearly are from another planet, whereby you are clearly not superhuman, have superhuman powers, ability to read fist's minds, or belong in society).

4) Apparently because I was driving a small car, it was easy for me to stop, and therefore I shouldnt have a problem! Yes, that's right, the size of my vehicle is a direct contributing factor to why I should bow down and drop trou' to some middle to late aged balding pratt, who thinks that the road is his. Moral of the story, drive an 18 wheeler everywhere because apparently if you dont, you bow down to everyone.

Unfortunately the Fiesta I was driving wouldnt allow me to put the windows up whilst he was leaning on them (they have some stupid safety feature which stops you closing someones hand in a window? shame, as I hoped that it would have been part of an education to him!). But to get out, on a busy dual carriageway that was already bad enough, block a lane and a half, mouth off about how he is perfectly right to drive like the end of a bell, and I should just accept it...

I gave him a few choice words, some F's and some C's (I will leave those to your imagination), but apparently he is not bothered, that someone up the road may have already had a serious accident, someone may be laying in a smashed vehicle with firefighters desperately cutting them out of their car to save their lives, because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Apparently driving dangerously would be of no concern to the police, because, well, he wasnt driving dangerously...

Thankfully, the accident was in fact a burning petrol tanker (shame it didnt go kaboom as he was passing it?) and he (and the other fist in the other citroen) got merrily on there way. So I thought I would share with all of you this wisdom, according to douchebags who cant drive. I believe you could all learn something valuable from this and hope that you all listen to every word of his wisdom, and drive the way that the law did not intend you to do so, ignoring the highway code, and safe driving practices and just driving however you like. As long as the traffic is moving slowly, you look like a stereotypical Jesus, wearing Chav clothes, with grey hair and seemingly having the idea in your head that you are infact better than, or might in fact be, God on earth.

Rant over. I look forward to your replies :)

[Stoney871]

I would have taken his reg and reported that he was driving like a one eye.

Add that you 'think' he may be drunk and see how fast he gets home after being streched out for half an hour in a lay-by by a Black Rat patrol.

'Don't get mad get the Police ;)'

Sent using Ford OC mobile app

[jeebowhite]

I was tempted, if it wasnt for the fact that there were officers a bit more busy up the road, and I couldnt see where he was heading (motorway or into town) then I probably would have pulled up and asked an officer to get on his tail.

I swear, some people just need a beating, I am surprised, I restrained myself from getting out the car and shoving his keys from where he was talking...

[BigD]

I'm sorry, and I know its not the right thing to do, but I personally would have got out (all 6ft3 and 22 stone of me) and given him an education in who to NOT pick fights with.

[Philf1]

They're everywhere.

M62 tonight lane 3 has overheads warning lane is blocked due to stranded vehicle but still they think it is OK to carry on driving in the lane as far as is possible before swerving into lane 2 making everyone else have to brake and cause ever increasing tailbacks for all, idiot empty heads!!!

[btmaldon]

At the end of the day you can only put it down to their level of intelligence (driving a Citroen being a good indicator of their intellectual standing). As an amoeba doesn't register on the IQ scale it does make you wonder how they obtained a driving license.

[jeebowhite]

Dont I know it! Unfortunately BigD, I am 5'8 and 8stone, so dont really have enough weight to throw at pratts like that! I wish I could bulk out.

Phil, they really are idiots. It just is stupid of them to be polite.

Bruce... lol :D I know what you mean. He clearly was an idiot but I wish I was built a bit more like BigD, I wish I could follow through my threats!

[Stoney871]

6' 1" 19 stone and police dog in tow doesn't usually result in me getting much grief either.

Strange that ;)

[jeebowhite]

lol ;) I often wish I had the uniform and the Canine Colleagues to keep me company too!

I seriously wish I had the health to be a copper. I would be ecstatic about wiping some smart smug looks and comments off a few faces...

[Stoney871]

lol ;) I often wish I had the uniform and the Canine Colleagues to keep me company too!

I seriously wish I had the health to be a copper. I would be ecstatic about wiping some smart smug looks and comments off a few faces...

The job can be a pita sometimes but it does have it's benefits.

Being a dog handler gets me involved in some very interesting taskings and allows me to avoid the more mundane jobs.

A lot of training goes into it though, but the positives far outweigh the negatives.

[FOCA]

You need to get a dashcam up and running to record such incidents

[Incontro]

6' 1" 19 stone and police dog in tow doesn't usually result in me getting much grief either.

Strange that ;)

Yeah, only the worst of scum usually dares to assault a uniform. <_<

As FOCA said, I think you should get a dashcam if you experience such terrible driving frequently enough, that way you can report it to the cops, and in some cases they will follow it up. Who knows, the prat may suddenly pull a knife on you, and things can go down badly before you know it, even if you're big.

[jeebowhite]

Definately agree with the dashcam! I am looking to get one, but right now my finances are in the red and not the black. As soon as I can get one, I will!

The problem is though I was in the courtesy car yesterday, so wouldn't have had the camera with me...

[jamesm182]

Just read this and seriously what an absolute '(insert choice of inappropriate word here)'!!!!

Hate these morons