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aimed at the older corsa driver is a new system dubbed MLA - Middle Lane Assist - which relies on a series of sophisticated sensors to detect if the driver is displaying anything resembling correct motorway discipline and triggers a warning tone so that they can resume their correct spot in the middle lane, even though the inside lane is completely empty. MLA is directly linked to another exciting new feature known as ASA, or Annoying Speed Assist, which is capable of detecting the speed limit for any given road and then holding the car at precisely 4.5mph less than that. Meanwhile, low speed manoeuvring is taken care of by another revolutionary system labelled Inept Park Assist (IPA) which works off the familiar bumper-mounted parking sensors but sends the information from them to a dedicated ECU which then assesses the steering and throttle inputs needed to bump repeatedly into the car behind and still manage to come to rest bang slap in the middle of a kerbside space that is actually big enough to accommodate two cars, if they weren't driven by people who are idiots. Of course, the new Corsa isn't just about technology. Amongst the unique aesthetic features premiering on this model, Vauxhall is promising the younger lady driver a standard fit range of stupid little teddy bears and gonks strewn all over the dashboard and rear seat so that the entire interior resembles a 12 year old girl's bedroom. When the new Corsa goes on sale in the spring ,prices are expected to start at whatever Vauxhall reckons it can get away with, given that anybody buying one clearly knows nothing about cars and will be so busy deciding what stupid name they're going to give it that they won't ask for a discount. (found this on another car forum. lol)

Um, In Ireland isn't an alcoholic just called "Irish"...

by shedding weight off the vehicle , lots of it. but seriously , who buys a 1.6 focus with acceleration in mind lol. a bit of a reality check needed here i think. ;-)

I'm cracking up at that way too much Think I'm in one of those moods tonight where everything is funny, I should really go to bed.

Young driver finally works out how to do a 'Burn Out' in his Corsa, possibly not quite what he was expecting.

Yeah I've messaged the dealer and the boy said he needs to see his gaffer because the two demos they use are actually for sale and he's concerned about putting on miles to get here and back (15 miles all in there and back) My old EP3 type r scrapped a little not much and my 350Z I didn't even attempt. I'm a jap lover at heart but fancied a change and here we are ! The issue I have is that I've spent so much money on it and I'd rather not put it in if its going to scrape a lil but I'd rather have peace of mind. A regular car clears easily and like you said shouldn't be a problem but it's just me trying to cover all bases

Ask for another test drive in their demo ST...take it home and see what happens lol... 15mm is barely anything though, if you're saying you've got a 'normal' Fiesta that doesn't scrape, it'll probably be fine. At worst it'll be a little scuff under the side skirts where no-one will see anyway?

Ive seen a good idea online for an instant six pack for the photo shoot, no gyms or diet needed either!!! Good old wire fencing!

I'm slightly worried Jason will want to be Mr December with his Woodpecker out...

I have now had the alternator replaced and good news. The problems have now gone. So the strange dimming of lights and brightening etc with more revs has now entirely gone. The whine that was also present has gone entirely. So appears something in the alternator mus have burnt out and wasn't running correctly, even though the alternator was showing the correct volts. Many thanks everyone for your help.

You told us that yesterday!

Yes, it's possible A chap I used to know from the Volvo owners club, was railway engineer. He fitted, mainly for his own amusement; a train horn to his Volvo 940 Estate. His horn set up (tanks, compressor etc) occupied most of the back seat and boot area, leaving little room for passengers. You can always fit a ships horn, if the train isn't loud enough for you. Here someone with both on his car He clearly didn't think they were loud enough and upgraded to something bigger

what goes on pages 4-5 on the corsa user manual? the train and bus timetables.

Lol best forum I have ever been on. Might just keep getting fords to stay in here. Sent from my HTC 10 using Tapatalk

Actually had to read this twice as first time thought it was serious Sent from my HTC 10 using Tapatalk

I do like having the house to myself this evening! Enjoying a good film, a few beers and indulging in a pack of Marlboros...

That rule doesn't apply to dogs and cats Ghana!!

First things first these things depend on the quality of your houses wiring. If it's really old it's going to drop out a lot. Secondly, make sure you've only got one ring in the house (most houses are). I personally use TP-Link WPA-4220 and they work fine. You plug one in next to your router, and run a cable, then the other one upstairs or wherever and it provides you with two ethernet ports and wifi. You can step up one and they'll allow you to use it as a plug socket still, as my ones still take up a plug socket.

🙍I'm offended

I have more in common with mice than I first realised 😅

Same here, when I change my oil on my 2012 1.6tdci it does take the full 4.0 litres of oil to get it to the full level on the dipstick. I do add the 3.8 litres then wait ages for it to settle, even check it the next day after driving . Wait for it to cool and check again adding a bit more, and so on till I'm happy with the level. It always ends up at 4.0 litres but I feel happy knowing that it's not over filled.

Rear drums annoy me 10000x more than rear manual windows!

Having revised my short list again, and again after "test driving" a few saws at a local tool shop yesterday I went with Makita in the end, but not the LS0815FL I had originally short listed; but it's bigger brother the LS1018L (which has replaced the very popular LS1013) http://www.makitauk.com/products/saws/mitre-saws/slide-compound-mitre-saw/ls1018l-260mm-mitre-saw.html. It was only £65 more than LS0815FL But had a much better build quality feel about it, obviously a greater capacity with a 260mm blade and is double mitre saw. Which makes life easier

Sun?? whats that?

We've said goodbye to our Fiesta and this is its replacement. Focus 1.0L Ecoboost (100ps) Titanium. Only drove about 5 miles so far but I am very impressed. There is so much low down torque its unbelievable and I don't think I've even crossed 3500 RPM yet. Was a little worried that I could open the door after locking it but it turns out keyless start is also keyless entry, which is very nice. Stop start has also worked 2 or 3 times so far which has hardly been noticeable. Overall I'm impressed and can't wait to get some more miles under it's belt. Not the best picture but once the weather changes I'll get some better ones.

The C4 and 308 both handle like crap, I tested both with the 1.6TDCi before choosing the Focus lol...comfort & handling were 2 of the main reasons. You're right it is going off-topic a bit, however I'm looking at petrols myself, with basically just my current car as the budget lol...that means there's a lot of Mk2 Focus' in budget but nothing with an economical petrol (well, a few 1.4 TSI Golfs, but looks like they struggle with MPG as well). The change is purely down to damn DPFs! But seeing the figures in here, there's no way I could even afford to fuel & tax a 1.6 (despite 41 less bhp) compared to my current diesel, let alone anything with some power, just seems mad tbh! I'll leave it now though lol.

i want want want a train horn !! :-D it would fit beautifully on my roof rails and theres loads of space for an air compressor in an estate lol........

We could do with a FOC calendar. Sent from my SM-G930F

👍🏼

As an avid rock fan I also like the fact that we have just booked our first gig for 2017.

Hey Andy it's seem me and you ain't having much luck I also have had 3 repairs this year. Dash fault,power fold wing mirror, and clutch so far. We should of got zetec lol less to go wrong

New addition to the family, may I present Twiglet.... Another female Scottish Terrier.... Pret is dealing with her quite well tbf.. :)

Anyone else think it's a bit coincidental that it's only within the last few weeks that Corsa's have been bursting into flames too... ...about as long as Ian has been saying he was looking at leaving VX? :D

He doesn't need matches: Vauxhall's self-ignite

Thanks Wes! I did check though to make sure you weren't being serious...

Ah that's terrible 😐

Run out of matches? [emoji6] Sent from my SM-G930F

That reminds me, the people opposite who had far too many Vauxhalls to be considered healthy; have replaced their Corsa with a Fiesta, their Zafira with a Sharan and their Insignia with a Mondeo; all within the last month. The elderly Frontera is still there though

I lasted 8weeks! Quite an achievement.

That'll mean a few less Vauxhalls out on the roads next year.

I don't like it when people can't follow simple requests..... I personally don't think I ask too much of people, maybe I do... but bagging up dog crap and bringing it INTO the house instead of shoving it in a bin outside is one example... Letting the dogs out at least once in the two hours I'm out is another... cleaning up if the pup has an accident can be another... Maybe the requests are too large, but seeing as dog crap at this stage is small enough to pick up with a bit of bog roll and flush down the toilet which is about 10 steps away I didn't think it was.... oh well, C'est la Vie....

Why didn't you put her in the passenger seat instead of the boot then 😁 Happened me twice, Easy fix with the correct Torx bit a TX40 is required along with a flat head screwdriver to get things sorted. the torx but is available from Halfords for a few pounds on its own not as part of a set as saw in image below You need to get in to the boot from the back seat, Temporarily remove two plastic caps from the lower boot door panel, Then stick the Torx TX40 in to both holes to unbolt the lower boot latch bracket from the chassis. Followed by popping out the four plastic retaining plugs which hold the lower boot panel in place then lift the boot door to freedom 🙌 followed by putting it all back together. I can add more detailed images if desired

I don't like almost forgetting to go to bed last night and as a consequence, only having 2 hours sleep. As a result; I've been sleep deprived all day and am struggling to concentrate Not unlike a zombie Facebook have a yearly review of the users? What like, "you have failed to post the mandatory number of comedy kittens and LOL cats" , or "why aren't you following the Kadashian family and liking every inane post they all make?" Are there sanctions, if you have a bad review?

Or if you opt for a high-spec model, you also get page 6 which includes the numbers of local taxi companies.

Not exactly a burning love then?

It's a hot deal. Sent from my SM-G930F

tight ***** ford still dont put rear elec windows on style and zetec specs. still, i dont sit in the back so i aint bothered. lol

I have a Titanium X 125 no rattles just done a trip to my daughters 130 miles each way, no problems at all, great little car.

What is your budget? Depends what you want to do with it and how often I guess. Dewalt dws780 is an awesome saw with a big blade but pricey. The dewalt ones do have a depth stop, just the usual depth adjustment screw as found on many.

Typical new build houses. 6 inches of turf they call a garden and if you dig more than a foot down you hit building rubble and crap.