jeebowhite Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 As most of you are aware, my experience with Vauxhalls has been something of a curse and burden of my life. After my last accident, I was blessed with the luxury of a hire vehicle, which to my disappointment was a Vauxhall Astra. In order to appease the gods of motoring (GOM), I thought I may benefit from writing a review of the vehicle in the hope that saying some "kind" words would prevent the GOM's from smiting my vehicles with this class of motor, and stop them from trying to park their vehicles on my back seats... The time has once again come to try and appease the GOM's. My beloved Mindel has gone in to have her belts, chains pulleys, pusheys, thingamajigs and whoojamacallits replaced, and I was once again to be without a car for 2 days. I contacted the local rental company, and pleaded with them to give me any vehicle other than a Vauxhall, sadly, they felt the need to torture me. I was collected this morning by a colleague of the rental company, who took me in a rattley 64 plate Aygo to the local depot, and I was greeted by a happy team, who went through the costs, the paperwork etc, and advised me in a very cheery voice "We didnt have any smaller cars, so we have upgraded you to a class C, and we have a 'top of the line fairly new Corsa'" having recovered from the shock and the head injuries of repeatedly introducing my head and the desk, leaving a few dents in my wake, we signed the papers, paid my £298 fee (£200 refundable deposit, £32 excess protect, reducing the fee to a mere £100 excess should the Corsa find its native feacal position in my company, and the £66 cost of the car - I took the walk of shame to my companion for the next two days... Greeting me was a bright eyed 64 plate 1.2 petrol white Corsa SE (eco) with DAB radio, heated interiors, touch screen Sat Nav, integrated bluetooth and a few other gadgets and gizmo's. After a brief introduction to the vehicle, I found myself sat in the drivers seating, begging the GOM's to smite me, before I had to turn the key. Alas, they chose not to smite me, but to punish me instead. A few moments earlier, I was advised of a "feature" of the relatively new Corsa range, where the vehcile takes a little while to realise that fuel has been added to the vehicle, and that it may take a few moments for the car to recognise this. I will get onto this point later... So I shall start my review with a few positive words, and believe me, I have had a thesaurus to hand, and a few word comparison websites to take the immediate word which comes to mind, and offers a translation to the slightly more "psitive" variety of the word. Having turned the key and thought I should acquainty myself with my compadre, I took the car for a spin around the lot. The gearstick barely has to move before the gear is engaged.the steering is light and very nimble, with no effort to turn the wheel required, its almost as if you just have to say the word left or right, and the breathe you exhale could control the movement of the wheel. A relatively positive start to the experience. Being used to the Ford range, and their relatively high clutch point, it took a while to adjust to the petrol engine and realising the clutch bit was very low down the flow of the gear was an adjustment, but I got used to it after leaving the compound. First gear has a lot of pull, and can get you to 20MPH by about 3500 - 4000 revs, and second gear has a reasonable amount of pulling power too. Knowing just how powerful the beast under the engine was, and knowing a speed camera was along the road, I felt it sensible to reign the almight power in and remain at 20MPH whilst I adjusted to the beast. As I adjusted to my compadre, I took a moment to observe what beauty was around the cabin, the plastics where shiny, the touchscreen interface for the satnav and the buttons for radio controls where well thought out and relatively pleasant to observe. Compared to the astra which had a cluster of aproximately 60 buttons and knobs in an enclosed space, this was a pleasant difference. The automatic headlights meant I need not acquaint myself with the switches and buttons of the lighting controls, and the cruise control was exceptionally easy to activate - twist this knob here and cruise maintains your speed. What could be simpler than that. The instrument panel and speedometer where spaced pleasantly to the eye, and the speedo offered 20MPH incriments, it took me a few moments to acknowledge where the 30MPH was, as it wasnt overly clear, but I got used to it. The interior seating was firm and somewhat comfortable. Needing not play with the heated seats and steering, I found myself at an end to the observation of its beauty. I can now understand why so many young people and new drivers feel the Corsa is a relatively pleasant experience in towns, so I can understand why they are so popular. Now we come to the roadtest, and I am sad to say, the positive thoughts are struggling to be achieved here, so the frank comments come into play... Having left the town in second gear, I proceeded to third, and noticed a lack of power response, not sufficient, but the power in first and second gear where no longer present. between the town and the heading to 40MPH zones, I took a few moments to reflect, and I believe I have finally unlocked the secret to the Vauxhall feacial position. The power output in second and third gear is quite responsive, but going into third and above, means you lose a lot of power. As such, you could be driving at 30 in first gear, running around 4000 - 5000 revs or second gear at around 4000 revs. To ensure you maintain the feeling of power you should keep to these gears. However, with the ultra nimble steering, and the exitement of the road ahead of you, its easy to appreciate that slight movement of the steering wheel should offer some slight movement to the wheels, but there is a blind spot where the first few degrees dont really do much! as such, it takes a further flick of the steering, and all of a sudden the entire steering system springs to life. Sadly, when your excited, and driving at 5000 revs to hear the ellusive racetones of the exhaust system, and the steering suddenly kicks to life, the car can throw its weight distribution over the folcrum, and the car can just roll. Thankfully I have yet to experience this element, but now, it has struck fear into my heart. Hitting third gear, and more worryingly fourth, as I accelerated out of the town to the carriageway was a slow process, this is a very safe car, as outside of 30MPH, drivers will struggle to pull power and exceed 30MPH, the process of accelerating from 30 to 40 took about 6 seconds in fourth gear, and then the road opened to 70. I had my foot glued to the floor, and to get to 70 took a drop to third gear, and around 12 seconds to get there. I had a moment where I was shouting at the car to just move, bouncing in the seat, hoping that my momentary weightlessness would remove enough weight from the seat the car would spring to life... Apparently an empty car is not enough. Having managed to reach 70 I proceeded to overtake in fourth gear, I dared to consider reaching fifth gear, the thought was fear inducing. I put my foot flat to the floor, and proceeded to the outer lane, and after about 4 seconds, the car reached 75 on the speedo.the road then turned to a hill, and I had to wrestle it back from its sudden acceleration, completed the overtake and returned to the inside lane. The acceleration on the hill was as if I was driving in first gear again, but I was in fourth. I proceeded down the hill and entered the slip road to hit the motorway. The power dropped once again as the ground leveled out. I found myself trying to levitate to allow the speed to increase, in third I got up to about 55MPH and I thought it would be a good opportunity to go to fourth, and I was wrong, I struggled to get back to 60.After a mile, persistance paid off and I got to 70 in fourth gear and maintained it, activating cruise control, and thinking about hitting fifth gear. After a few moments, I took the plunge, and the car maintained speed. Cruise control managed the drive and worked rather well, until I reached an overtake. I put my foot down and it was like someone had detacthed the accelerator. dropped to fourth, and the acclerator returned, progressively. I drove over the lumps and bumps of the road, and with each bump, I was bounced in my seat like I had returned from a bungee drop. The suspension was soft and just shakes you like mirraca. it was at this point, (12 miles later) the car had finally caught up and realised it had been filled. the guage went just over the 1/4 mark, and acknowledged 84 miles to go - given that before then on collection it reflected 73 miles... The most terrifying thing was having maintained speed, and someone pulls out in front of you, once you touch the brakes you are doomed. I dropped from 70 to 60, and immediately had to drop to fourth gear. Leaving it in fifth and trying to accelerate is not an option on this car, unless you wish to arrive at your destination before you have made it back to 70 of course. After 20 Miles on the road, I was relieved to see the end of the motorway and my office around the corner. I returned back to the low gears for the town driving and the car was once again responding as I would expect a car to do. with the wind and road noise gone, I managed to return to the pleasure of the radio. THe sound was clear and crisp! I pulled into the office car park and manouvered to the space, and the steering was back to being light enough for breathe control . For young people and new drivers, I can see the appeal around town, light, nimble and responsive in the lower gears, a fair safety rating in case of a bump, and cheap as chips. Its good for parents, as in town it might be quite responsive and light, and does of course risk the feacial position scenario I described above, but from third gear on, they are restricted. They can't go drag racing on the motorway, because they would have been pulled over, arrested, charged, banned, and given their license back, before they could make it to 90MPH or more. Its a win win situation! So, to summarise, there are no words I can really use to sum this car up in one. It has its positives in town, so that makes it a "reasonably-good" town car, but on the motorways, I think the closest word I can come up with is frustrating. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisroberson99 Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Nice to hear an honest review Jeebs! They can't be that bad as people still buy them...but then again people still buy Audis... PS, what's up with the site? Looks different! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeebowhite Posted June 4, 2015 Author Share Posted June 4, 2015 Not sure I have seen any difference on the site lol As for the review well, I only did it so the gom 's may stop smiting me with vauxhall lol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stoney871 Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 I can summise your review in one word for you- CRAP!! :D 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeebowhite Posted June 4, 2015 Author Share Posted June 4, 2015 Haha, I was going to say that but I really am trying to stop them hitting me lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stoney871 Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Haha, I was going to say that but I really am trying to stop them hitting me lol Not worth selling your soul for Jeebs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeebowhite Posted June 4, 2015 Author Share Posted June 4, 2015 Well, I must admit.. I think I stole someone else's car on the way home.. For some reason it had a bit more pull up to fourth gear. Then I was smited again.. Two trucks two cars and a third car crash on the motorway, but Mr 3rd car was upside down in the ditch at the side of the road, so I was sat in traffic, that car is extremely uncomfortable and my back pain has peaked... I have said all I can in nice ways now, I would actually rather be pushing mindel 30 miles down the motorway than driving this blasted thing. It's woeful, its painful, its irritating, its ugly, it drives like cack, and I wanted to get it to 90 so I could drive it straight off the motorway and up the hill... Its awful, I hate it and I can't wait to part with my money to get mindel back! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartynS Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 wow, another vauxhall for you. You couldn't make it up! How does it feel actually paying something for this one? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philf1 Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 I can summise your review in one word for you- CRAP!! :D But crap is useful! I know what you mean about these hideous contraptions I get them a lot as hire cars for work they have no power at all give you back ache after 20 minutes and they smell weird Sent from my iPhone using Ford OC mobile app Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Incontro Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 haha great review jeebs. i just looked up the 0-60 time for the model you drove - 15.5 seconds - crikey! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeebowhite Posted June 4, 2015 Author Share Posted June 4, 2015 Hope the review gave a few giggles lol wow, another vauxhall for you. You couldn't make it up! How does it feel actually paying something for this one? :DIt feels worse knowing it's my cost this time... 98 quid I would rather have bought a cheapo banger for that... But crap is useful! I know what you mean about these hideous contraptions I get them a lot as hire cars for work they have no power at all give you back ache after 20 minutes and they smell weird Sent from my iPhone using Ford OC mobile app The are God awful motors, the 1.4 non eco is supposed to be better as a friend has one, and another friend has one too but the sporty one (not vxr though). They Re both Uchida better than the eco. Don't get me wrong eco can be a good thing but to sacrifice safety for mpg is a massive fail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeebowhite Posted June 4, 2015 Author Share Posted June 4, 2015 haha great review jeebs. i just looked up the 0-60 time for the model you drove - 15.5 seconds - crikey! Haha cheers Steve, yeah I didn't really want to look it up but yeah 15.5,i had a Citroën ax that did 0-60 in less and that was a one litre and 4 gears... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jace1969 Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 So James,your next car a corsa :) Good to read the review as i wanted to know what they were like from the old corsa what i had. The big thing i liked about my old 2009 was how quiet it was when driving,road noise was very low. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeebowhite Posted June 5, 2015 Author Share Posted June 5, 2015 Engine noise in that thing is quiet, but Road noise is anything but. As for the car, absolutely I will be buying a corsa. Not to replace mindel, but I think it would be a nice stress reliever, standing out there with a sledgehammer. Also I will be looking forward to plowing it into a wall at 120 for the insurance claim after I have finished with it lol 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hywelkidd Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 I learned to drive in a 63 plate diesel Corsa and I agree, it was quite nice around town. It was comfy, quiet and had very light steering. Out of town on the national limit roads however it was pretty awful compared to the Fiesta. It handled like a skip and really didn't pull that well. I had a motorway lesson after I bought the Fiesta and I was so glad to get out of the Corsa for the last time. My car was 10 years old at the time, and the only things better in the Corsa were the clutch and the seats. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jace1969 Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Day 1 i was always ford and then tried vauxhall for a few years,last one being my corsa 09 plate. I think to sum a corsa up is ''BORING'' when you had it a few months,my own opinion. Time will tell on the new one ( well facelift/facelift) as same shape. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeebowhite Posted June 5, 2015 Author Share Posted June 5, 2015 The Adam clone lol Yeah I got a Citroën ax any first car, it was cheap as chips but I wouldn't get another, I got a fez and fell in love. Had the fez, the focus, a fling with a kia ceed (that was pretty much a focus) and then back to cmax and Mondeo. I got bad news today, ford sent a damaged part so I won't be getting my car back till tomorrow at least and I am not paying another 140 to keep the corsa so it's going back and I will not feel bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeebowhite Posted June 5, 2015 Author Share Posted June 5, 2015 Well, the rot box was returned after the goms smited me again... A usual 45 minute journey took over twice that, so I was sat in the rot box for longer. Still it's back now and not my problem and I just hope they finish my car tomorrow. The indie is using genuine ford parts, but the fuel pump cassette chain they received was faulty, so they had to order a new one... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jace1969 Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 Don't say '''ADAM'' to me,your lucky you had the corsa,i had the adam for a day. A pile of horse stuff,the gear change and drive was so bad,like i said just me,others may like it. LOL LOL LOL. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmurray01 Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 Sounds about right!! I will never understand why people buy Vauxhalls - horrible cars. Even our '97 Fiesta 1.25 could accelerate in 4th and 5th without much effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeebowhite Posted June 6, 2015 Author Share Posted June 6, 2015 Mindel is back and showing the rot box how to own the road :-D 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmurray01 Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 Mindel is back and showing the rot box how to own the road :-D It's always a relief to get your own car back. Nothing else is quite like it, good or bad. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stoney871 Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 Mindel is back and showing the rot box how to own the road :-D Now you can resume the Corsa bashing :d 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeebowhite Posted June 6, 2015 Author Share Posted June 6, 2015 Well given I tried to say nice things and yet the goms have made the last two days hell... They caused two crashes and caused me to suffer an extra 25 minutes in it Monday and an extra hour yesterday. Let normal service resume and may the goms bog off 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matey Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 must admit, the Corsa was the alternative to the Ford Focus for us. Only because the father in law had a Ford Focus and was madly in love with it and my missus became besotted with it too did we plump for the Focus!! Previously we had a Vauxhall Vectra (Yes bought from Car Giant (which was under a different name then) in 2000) 3 years old and totally totally gorgeous, had that car up until last year and of course by then it had done 130,000 miles etc etc etc loved that car Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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