eddie eastwood Posted May 21 Share Posted May 21 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddie eastwood Posted May 21 Share Posted May 21 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rondy Posted May 21 Author Share Posted May 21 I was talking to a girl in a pub the other night and I said "You remind me of my little toe!" She said "Is that because I’m small and cute?" I replied "No, it's because I’ll probably end up banging you on the coffee table!" ___ I work all hours every ***** week to provide a great Christmas for the kids. And what happens? Some fat *** with a beard gets all the credit... Still, my fault for marrying her I suppose! ___ The Irish bobsleigh team at the Winter Olympics are refusing to race until the course has been gritted! ___ I hear there's a French nobleman, who has become very wealthy by investing in gravy granules. He's the Count of Monte Bisto. ___ I am overjoyed! Soon I will be able to payoff all my loans and at last be debt free. I'm on my way to the bank, thrilled to know that in a very short while I will finally have all the money I need to begin enjoying life for once. I am so excited I can hardly get my ski mask on!" ___ I'm Sick & tired of hearing these Olympic athletes say how much work they've put in & the sacrifices they've made... What do they want? A ***** medal? ___ My wife asked if I'd seen the dog bowl... I replied, "I didn't even know he played cricket!" ___ I’ve just had a friends request from Quasi Modo. I don’t know him but the name rings a bell. ___ Nice to see ASDA employing pensioners. I saw an elderly guy rounding up the trollies today... ...he must have been pushing 70! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rondy Posted May 21 Author Share Posted May 21 A couple, Dave and Mabel, were staying at the Grand Hotel Llandudno -- fourth floor. Dave calls the Hotel Manager "Come up quick. we've been arguing and Mabel wants to throw herself out of the window." The manager replied "Sir, this is a personal matter, I can call sec....." Dave interrupts "No, this is a maintenance issue -- The window won't open" ___ There's a nudist convention at our local town hall next week. Might go if l've nothing on. ___ The person who invented the Ferris wheel never met the person who invented the merry go round. They travelled in different circles. ___ Is anybody interested in a ride in a helicopter? I need one person to accompany me next Sunday morning. Departing from Hawarden Airport we will pass over Conwy Falls, along the Conwy River then down to Dolwyddelen and its ancient castles before heading north to Capel Curig. We’ll then head back to the Conwy River and Llanrwst, flying over Swallow Falls - the highest continuous waterfall in Wales - before returning to Hawarden Airport. If anyone is interested, please message me! Preferably someone with a helicopter, otherwise we can't go. ___ I’ve just been reading a book about the man who invented superglue, I couldn’t put it down. ___ Paddy in Wetherspoons. How much is a pint? It's £2.50 or £7 for a pitcher. Stuff the photograph! Here's £2.50 for the pint. ___ I dropped a tenner yesterday and chased it for miles. I never caught it but at least l had a good run for my money. ___ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddie eastwood Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddie eastwood Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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dezwez Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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