1 hour ago, jmurray01 said:

With depression you can't really be unaware of it (I wish I could!), but I'm more referencing paranoia and that genre of mental illness. 

Surely Alcohol makes you unaware of it? Lol.  Ahh no idea on Paranoia then, only thing I know about that goes off Ronnie Kray lol

Denial is only the first stage though...  Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.  It's acceptance that I hate, that's when people basically give up...

I'm also not sure everyone is aware of depression...  I still don't think I have it, I'm just a grumpy !Removed! because I don't like life or see a future...  But then again maybe I'm in denial...  

I don't like ebay sellers, who "can't accept payment right now" and don't reply to the numerous messages I've sent them.  What's the point in listing an item on "Buy It now", if you can't accept payment for it????  This has been ongoing since Friday afternoon, would have thought they'd replied by now: but apparently not

I've never had depression, or at least, I don't think I have.

Ghana, it was a paper shredder, had a mountain to shred!!

As for depression... I've been depressed about things, but not really been one for general depression about life, that I can remember (denial?) Always had a "chin up, soldier on" couple of parents... I've tried that approach with others who have had depression and it doesn't always work....

I personally believe trying to find one positive in many situations is a key to helping... It's not that simple but talking to people and hearing their worries about something, but telling them a positive in there and getting them to focus on that etc has helped me help people in the past...

I modified my office shredder, with better teeth on a bigger shaft, a more powerful motor and improved gears

So, I could shred natural fabric (cotton, linen, wool, untreated leather etc) and board as well as paper and card.  All my office and fabric shreddings get mixed into the compost. 

It was a rather time consuming to cut old fabric up into 20mm pieces with scissors.  I can now shred an old shirt in about 10 seconds  Jeans take longer

When a good film comes to an end.

I modified my office shredder, with better teeth on a bigger shaft, a more powerful motor and improved gears

So, I could shred natural fabric (cotton, linen, wool, untreated leather etc) and board as well as paper and card.  All my office and fabric shreddings get mixed into the compost. 

It was a rather time consuming to cut old fabric up into 20mm pieces with scissors.  I can now shred an old shirt in about 10 seconds:smile:  Jeans take longer

Sounds a bit like Triggers broom

See my parts for sale on thread "philf1s Spirit Blue Fiesta ST180 parts for sale"

1 minute ago, Philf1 said:

Sounds a bit like Triggers broom

See my parts for sale on thread "philf1s Spirit Blue Fiesta ST180 parts for sale"

It still has the same case and bin, although the castors were increased to 50mm doubles from 40mm singles, on account of the heavier running gear.

Just need a bigger turbo adding. What the hell are you shredding? Or do you shred for a business

See my parts for sale on thread "philf1s Spirit Blue Fiesta ST180 parts for sale"

not earning enough to full tank my car

dad only ever giving me a tenner every time i need to fill up

asking for another tenner the next day

driving too much (spending hours driving in one day, then doing it again for the next consecutive days really drains me)

driving friends and they play crappy music

peckish and finding expired food in the fridge

undercover police cars

car being messy/dirty

Denial is only the first stage though...  Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.  It's acceptance that I hate, that's when people basically give up...

I'm also not sure everyone is aware of depression...  I still don't think I have it, I'm just a grumpy !Removed! because I don't like life or see a future...  But then again maybe I'm in denial...  

Acceptance doesn't mean giving up.

I've accepted that I have a problem, I'm taking medication to help and I'm moving forward with my life. Counselling was a massive help for me as well. Without a doubt, I am a much stronger person than I was.

It's that sort of statement that can put people off seeking help.

My bad, I shouldn't have generalised that, you're right.

I really wish I hadn't accepted it or sought help, I'm in a worse place now than before I started.  But I know other people do benefit from it.   

5 minutes ago, TomsFocus said:

My bad, I shouldn't have generalised that, you're right.

I really wish I hadn't accepted it or sought help, I'm in a worse place now than before I started.  But I know other people do benefit from it.   

Never too late to go and seek help :)

Undercover police cars is my gripe too! Hate driving from Manc to Kent once a month, everytime I'm hitting 100 - 20 = .. i get paranoid about every BMW or Audi closing in behind, especially on the M6 toll! so I drop back to 70, wait for them to pass, then follow behind until the next one comes along. 

 

I saw a copper with a camera at the end of some 50 roadworks on the M6 as the bottom of a Valley, luckily I knocked a bit of speed off before he saw me, funnily enough 5 minutes up the road were 3 undercover audis and a standard police car which had pulled over 3 separate cars....cheeky

 

3 minutes ago, alexp999 said:

Never too late to go and seek help :)

I did seek help.  General consensus is I'm beyond helping lol.

Partly my fault, as I can't take pills due to risk of side effects.  I have severe contamination OCD which in very simple terms is trying to avoid illness...yet the only pills you're offered for these sorts of things are SSRIs which are known to cause nausea (and worse) as side effects.  The doc's can't understand why I won't take a pill that will make me ill when I spend my life avoiding getting ill...

Counselling (well CB therapy) hasn't helped either, I think you have to be a certain type of person for it to work and it didn't work at all for me.  A large part of the problem there is that it can only work on one issue at a time, but I have many that are all interlinked.

I recently went to a lot of effort and expense seeking further help outside of the NHS, just to find the only options there are pills and CBT as well...great...

Honestly I found it far easier to get through life when I was partly in denial and lying to people...  Now I've accepted I'm broken and told people (in real life) it's made everything worse.  :unsure:

Truth is, I don't want to get better even though I go through the motions, I don't like anything or have any aims, no interest in kids or partners or houses or fast cars or holidays like most people (I assume) have, don't see any sort of future except more fear and pain, would rather just 'go' asap, but of course I don't tell people that in real life...  I'd be typing this from a padded cell otherwise lol.

Can the doctors not prescribe or recommend something to counter the nausea?

I get terrible motion sickness and you can get over the counter pills for that. The doctors should be able to advise if they can be taken with the medication they recommend you go on.

Clearly being on here and chatting shows you have an interest and some motivation though, so you're not completely void of it

Undercover police cars is my gripe too! Hate driving from Manc to Kent once a month, everytime I'm hitting 100 - 20 = .. i get paranoid about every BMW or Audi closing in behind, especially on the M6 toll! so I drop back to 70, wait for them to pass, then follow behind until the next one comes along. 

 

I saw a copper with a camera at the end of some 50 roadworks on the M6 as the bottom of a Valley, luckily I knocked a bit of speed off before he saw me, funnily enough 5 minutes up the road were 3 undercover audis and a standard police car which had pulled over 3 separate cars....cheeky

 

If you are concerned about unmarked cars then you obviously have a guilty conscience.

I drive an unmarked ST estate dog car and see all manner of things that wouldn't occur if the car was marked up.

If drivers stick to the rules then the blues stay off and everyone is happy.

If I see something naughty occurring then the lights go on and someones day takes a turn for the worse.

Simple really.

Remember, driving is a privilege not a right.

Sent from my SM-G900F using Tapatalk

Side effects of anti-nausea pills can include nausea lol, even that small risk I can't take...  Just to put this into perspective, I have NEVER taken a pill of any kind, not even headache or hayfever pills or anything. 

I also have problems with motion which is partly why I don't drive far.  Even driving my own car causes it but I'm not sure if it's wholly caused by motion or if the anxiety causes it as well. 

I think being on here is just a way of killing time tbh.  Same as playing COD on xbox, I'm not good at it, I couldn't care less whether I'm on the winning team or not, it just passes time lol.

6 minutes ago, Stoney871 said:

If you are concerned about unmarked cars then you obviously have a guilty conscience.

I drive an unmarked ST estate dog car and see all manner of things that wouldn't occur if the car was marked up.

If drivers stick to the rules then the blues stay off and everyone is happy.

If I see something naughty occurring then the lights go on and someones day takes a turn for the worse.

Simple really.

Remember, driving is a privilege not a right.

Sent from my SM-G900F using Tapatalk

Its not so much a guilty conscience but I passed last year in Feb, so mostly its been 6 points and ban (I have 0 and like to keep it that way) and any points I get would put my insurance up so I just like to be extra careful - however this isn't the reason for sticking to restrictions, I just don't go mad as it's not usually worth it! To be fair, doing 80 nowadays is the norm as most people are travelling at that and I understand Police usually look for the bigger fish to fry (those doing 90+) as thats where crashes are most likely going to happen/fatalities etc.

 

I just like to be extra vigilant as I don't want to be that one person getting done at 80 especially with insurance costs at the moment! 

15 minutes ago, Stoney871 said:

 

I drive an unmarked ST estate dog car and see all manner of things that wouldn't occur if the car was marked up.

 

Do you enjoy your job by the way! I know its not all the fun that police interceptors show on the TV with fast police chases etc but are you Traffic Based or mainly police based since your deal with the dog unit! (Are you with a big German Shepherd or a sniffer spaniel? )

Totally understand paranoia within 2 years of passing.

That's the period where you really learn how to drive and also when you're more likely to have an accident.

My personal ST does 155mph and with the remap it's likely to do 0 - 60 in about 5.5 seconds but common sense must prevail.

The temptation to give it some pedal is strong but I do resist that urge.

Saying that, being legally allowed to squeeze the work ST when justified/authorised is great fun.

Sent from my SM-G900F using Tapatalk

You'll probably find that 80 on the speedo is only like 73 in reality anyway!  Check it on the sat nav.  You won't get stopped for doing 73 lol. 

Must admit I don't have a problem with them, I see people keeping well under the limit and still braking when they see a police car, either marked or not...why?  I tend to cruise at 75 (69 on sat nav) and haven't had any problems.  Unless you're being an idiot with it (undertaking, tailgating etc) they won't be bothered.  I should add I live by the police station so see a lot lol.

Bricked it the other day when I thought I was getting pulled over in town though.  Two lanes of traffic in the one way system, police in the road with 'SLOW' signs out.  The guy in the next lane got pulled over and I thought I was as well, just assumed there was an accident and we were being redirected or that I'd done something naughty within the last 7 years lol...  Stopped next to the policeman on my side and dropped the window and he just said 'carry on sir'...  Turns out they were only stopping young people in modded cars for some reason.  First time I've been stopped since passing in 2009...and I wasn't even meant to stop.  

2 minutes ago, Stoney871 said:

Totally understand paranoia within 2 years of passing.

That's the period where you really learn how to drive and also when you're more likely to have an accident.

My personal ST does 155mph and with the remap it's likely to do 0 - 60 in about 5.5 seconds but common sense must prevail.

The temptation to give it some pedal is strong but I do resist that urge.

Saying that, being legally allowed to squeeze the work ST when justified/authorised is great fun.

Sent from my SM-G900F using Tapatalk

Yeh to be fair I totally agree. I would get a remap in my ecoboost but I know its quick enough for me at the moment - its all about getting used to the roads/cars and other users. I have a dashcam (Which for the purpose of this thread going off topic via my fault - I LIKE DASHCAMS! :) ) just for other road users simply because if I can't react quickly enough to somebody elses actions (whereas you maybe able to) then I can prove its not my fault. I like to learn from mistakes but in a car its not really the place to learn from any mistakes!

I go Go-Karting once a week to try and take away any temptation on the roads! 

 

I LIKE DASHCAMS :) 

 

I drive an unmarked ST estate dog car and see all manner of things that wouldn't occur if the car was marked up.

 

Do you enjoy your job by the way! I know its not all the fun that police interceptors show on the TV with fast police chases etc but are you Traffic Based or mainly police based since your deal with the dog unit! (Are you with a big German Shepherd or a sniffer spaniel? )

I am a full time handler and work a Malinois and Springer.

I cover general dog work like tracking and public order with the Mali and specialist search duties (drugs and explosives/firearms)with the Springer.

It's very rewarding but definitely hard work.

Sent from my SM-G900F using Tapatalk

2 minutes ago, Stoney871 said:

Do you enjoy your job by the way! I know its not all the fun that police interceptors show on the TV with fast police chases etc but are you Traffic Based or mainly police based since your deal with the dog unit! (Are you with a big German Shepherd or a sniffer spaniel? )

 

I am a full time handler and work a Malinois and Springer.

I cover general dog work like tracking and public order with the Mali and specialist search duties (drugs and explosives/firearms)with the Springer.

It's very rewarding but definitely hard work.

Sent from my SM-G900F using Tapatalk

I give you credit to the amount of training and work that goes into them dogs!  My girlfriend is currently a vet nurse (going to be Vet Physio once masters is done) - however them Malinois are so well trained to the trainers commands etc. (They just aren't too keen on other people handling them sometimes!)

 

5 minutes ago, TomsFocus said:

You'll probably find that 80 on the speedo is only like 73 in reality anyway!  Check it on the sat nav.  You won't get stopped for doing 73 lol. 

Must admit I don't have a problem with them, I see people keeping well under the limit and still braking when they see a police car, either marked or not...why?  I tend to cruise at 75 (69 on sat nav) and haven't had any problems.  Unless you're being an idiot with it (undertaking, tailgating etc) they won't be bothered.  I should add I live by the police station so see a lot lol.

Bricked it the other day when I thought I was getting pulled over in town though.  Two lanes of traffic in the one way system, police in the road with 'SLOW' signs out.  The guy in the next lane got pulled over and I thought I was as well, just assumed there was an accident and we were being redirected or that I'd done something naughty within the last 7 years lol...  Stopped next to the policeman on my side and dropped the window and he just said 'carry on sir'...  Turns out they were only stopping young people in modded cars for some reason.  First time I've been stopped since passing in 2009...and I wasn't even meant to stop.  

Yeh I find that but my Sat Nav is Via my phone (I use WAZE) so that all goes down to the accuracy of my phone signal/GPS and with the miles I do on the motorway I find it hard to fully rely on it incase its behind, or tracking me in jumps. However I do notice when sitting at 80 its showing around 75 - so when police get people with speed guns and its showing 100mph for peole, theyre most likely doing 110 on speedo!