Lenny Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Even Honda drivers hate vauxhall 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisroberson99 Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 My neighbours don't lol. They have a Jazz and an Insignia. :P 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Paramanic Posted January 31, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted January 31, 2015 every driver hates vauxhall lol even vauxhall drivers hate vauxhall lol if i remember i got this from a vauxhall corsa forum that my mate (which has a Corsa) gave it to me years agoi found this in my old files form years ago in my pc jokes :P Q: What goes on pages 4-5 of the Corsa user's manual?A: The train & bus schedule Q: How do you upgrade a Corsa?A: Put in an engine. A man goes to a parts garage:Man: "Can I have a windshield wiper for a Corsa please?"Parts man: "Yeah, that seems like a fair swap."Q: What is the sport-version of Corsa?A: The driver wears Nike shoes.Q: What do you call a Corsa at the top of a hill?A: A miracle.Q: What do you call two Corsas at the top of a hill?A: A mirage.Q: What do you call a Corsa with dual exhausts?A: A wheelbarrowQ: How do you double the value of a Corsa?A: Put in half a tank of petrol! Q: What do you have to do if your Corsa gets in the way of a swarm of killer bees?A: Stop pushing and take refuge into the car. Q: Why do Corsas have heated rear windows? A: To keep your hands warm when you're pushing them. Q: What to you call a Corsa with brakes?A: Customized.Q: What is the Corsa owner's most ardent wish?A: To buy a car.Q: What do you call a Corsa with a seat belt?A: A rucksack. Q: What do you call a Corsa with a flat tire?A: A write off. Q: How do you make a Corsa go faster uphill?A: Throw out the passenger.Q: How do you make a Corsa go faster downhill?A: Turn off the engine. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil 87 Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Those are great James :). My favourite is probably: A man goes to a parts garage: Man: "Can I have a windshield wiper for a Corsa please?"Parts man: "Yeah, that seems like a fair swap." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philf1 Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 All owners clubs hate the griffin. I have a mate with an Audi and it's just same comment on there saxperience is same too. Like all the jokes nath some are recycled skoda and Lada ones but all are true haha. Sent from my iPhone using Ford OC mobile app 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeebowhite Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 I love how you double the value of a corsa couldn't agree more lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lenny Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Check out the colour match on the drivers door guys!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeebowhite Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I think it spruces it up 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FocusSmudge Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Saw a damaged Black Vauxhall Corsa on the back of a low loader this morning. Cheered my day up anyway. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philf1 Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Chuffing c***a nearly wiped me out on m621 today she was on exit slip in a queue I'm in lane one 50mph she decides it's a good idea to pull out as i get to about 20 feet from her no indication nothing don't think she even saw my flashing lights and blaring horn or my two fingered salute. Sent from my iPhone using Ford OC mobile app 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeebowhite Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Corsa has a blind spot, everywhere but the vanity mirror.... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil 87 Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Chuffing c***a nearly wiped me out on m621 today she was on exit slip in a queue I'm in lane one 50mph she decides it's a good idea to pull out as i get to about 20 feet from her no indication nothing don't think she even saw my flashing lights and blaring horn or my two fingered salute. Sounds like a typical Corsa driver, and that's the kind of thing that makes you appreciate how good the brakes on the ST are :). I'm always nervous of driving fast past slow moving cars, there's always some idiot like that ready to take you out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartynS Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 Did you see top gear on sunday? I'm intrigued to know how the ST brakes compare to the three cars they tested! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil 87 Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 I didn't even know the new series had started lol, apparently there are 2 episodes so I'd better get on iPlayer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celticfan Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 And they are using a chuffing A***a for their star in an affordable car! Why can't they use cars that normal people drive? Do you think V*****l paid them to use a car that will usually end up in the faecal position? Must be punishment for the Argie number plate. They've been very, very naughty boys so they're punishment is....an A**a Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil 87 Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 Yeah I think they got that Astra last season, so hopefully will replace it next year. I know they seem to have a rule that the "reasonably priced car" has to be a normal boring car, but it would be awesome if they got a Fiesta ST, I mean there isn't a more reasonably priced car around at the moment :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeebowhite Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 Aye me too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisroberson99 Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 This thread reminded me at what I saw at Morrisons at the weekend. There was an old, clapped out, faded red Astra. It had two stickers on the back saying "Eat, Sleep, Astra" I thought it was hilarious. Should've taken a picture! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeebowhite Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Eat +sleep = never again if you own an astra... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nath.mk7.st Posted February 4, 2015 Author Share Posted February 4, 2015 Eat and sleep that's what they do not the owner they drink fuel and breakdown (sleep) Sent from my iPhone using Ford OC 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chan1a Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 At least 4 of us have the right idea :,) Sent from my iPhone using Ford OC 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeebowhite Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 I'm just imagining that astra being cut in half by the lamp post.... I'm feeling warm and fuzzy inside... As for the owners, I wonder how many are driven to a point of wanting to drink lots of petrol and eat flamin-uon or just lit matches! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeebowhite Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Haha another in the feacial position. Hit a lamp post and landed... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paramanic Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Now that's what I call Someone getting lamped! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeebowhite Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Haha, and it still looks better and performs better that way too! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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